But I’m aware of it, every hair on my body aware of it, just as I know the forest is now aware of us.
“We’re in.” Kestra leans against the neighboring tree. Her voice is even. Her hands aren’t. I notice it and don’t mention it.
“We’re in,” I confirm.
Tiana slides down a root until she’s crouching, forearms on knees. She looks at Kestra. A communication passes between them in the way that it does with people who’ve been surviving in proximity long enough to develop their own language. Then Tiana looks at me.
Not like an enemy. Not exactly like an ally. More like she’s running her own version of the same math I’ve been doing all night.Can I trust this person? Will she get me killed?
Fair enough. I’d be doing the same thing if I were her.
Hell, Iamdoing the same thing.
I look at Finnian.
He catches me staring at him. My eyes rolling over every inch of him, hoping I can see beneath his skin to the root of why he won’t meet my gaze anymore.
Something moves across his face. Too fast to name.
He looks away.
A month ago I knew every expression he owned. The armor. The flash when it broke. He used to look at me like I was something worth studying. Like I was a language he wanted to spend centuries learning.
Now he looks at me like he’s forgotten the alphabet.
And the worst part is I know why. Not the details. Those will come later and I’m not sure I’ll survive hearing them. But the shape of it. He was in a castle with the woman who made him watch his parents burn. I was under the same roof and I couldn’t get to him.
And there is no telling what Amarantha did to him.
“Moros will send trackers.” Kestra breathes. “We have maybe an hour before they reach the tree line. The forest will slow them. It’ll slow us, too.”
“My mother.”
“Is safe.” Kestra’s voice is careful. The kind of careful people use whensafemeansaliveand nothing more.
I know this. I made this call. I left my mom in a castle full of Fae who call human womennursemaidsand don’t see the cage in the word. I left her because getting four people out alive was the only version of this that worked.
Doesn’t mean my hands agree with the decision. They haven’t stopped shaking since we moved.
“Now what?”
“I know a place.” She turns to the forest, and I swear dark bits of magic float in the air. “It’s not far, but if we can get there within the hour, we can rest there and gather our bearings.” She turns back to us. “Find a way out to the borderlands.”
“Then we move.” My voice comes out even. “Kestra, you know the paths. You’re in front.”
She nods.
Orion’s bond hasn’t pulsed once since we left the castle. Just silence where his fire should be. He’s either too far away or too hurt and I can’t think about which one right now because I’ll stop moving.
Kieran’s silver-blue hums low against my wrist. Steady. Stubborn.Still here. Same thing it’s been saying for a month.
And Finnian’s partial gold burns against my skin like a bruise you keep pressing because at least the pain means it’s real.
Three bonds. Three men. Three different ways I wasn’t there when they needed me to be.
18
Finnian
