“I killed him.”
Three words I’ve carried for years. Three words I swore I’d take to my grave because telling her meant losing her and I couldn’t—I couldn’t?—
My hands shake, even in a dream, and I have to grip them together to keep them still.
The purple energy leans closer. Watching.
“Look at me.”
“I don’t know if I can.” Tears fall and fall, soaking into the hoodie I’m wearing.
An Army one.
What a cruel and awful joke.
“Of course you can.” Vanessa slurps. “You’re just choosing to be a pussy.”
“What?” I gasp, looking at her.
Her pupils are slitted. Two very fine lines that represent the thin line I’m walking.
For the first time in my life, I’m afraid of Vanessa.
“Nessa,” I look between those slits, not daring to blink or look away even as the bar noise rises and falls. “I should have told you. All those weeks of searching.”
“You should have,” she agrees. “You didn’t. And I’m not mad.”
“Why?”
The words don’t compute. I wait for the anger. The dragon fire. The centuries-old rage of a creature whose mate I took.
It doesn’t come.
“Ash, Greyson was my story, yeah. But he made some seriously stupid choices. Persephone was just one of them.” She shrugs and the slits lessen a fraction. “I just wish you felt you could have come to me. Talk to me.”
“How could I talk to you when I was too busy hating myself?” I sob. The words barely make it out. “I thought you’d kill me. I thought you’d…I thought I deserved it if you did.”
“Oh, Ash.” Her voice softens. “You absolute idiot.”
She leans forward, drawing me into her arms and hugging me. She doesn’t say anything. That isn’t Vanessa’s wheelhouse.
It’s this. Hugging you as though you’re one of her treasures. And there’s just something about that energy pulsing through you that cracks the dam a little wider.
Fracturing. Fracturing. Fracturing.
The purple-magenta at my edges settles. Softens.
Like it’s satisfied with what it saw.
“Kieran.” I blink away tears, seeing him walk through the bar door.
But I’m dreaming. And he’s been dream-walking to me since the night he found me in my Academy memory.
“How is he here?” I look between them.
Vanessa pulls back and shrugs, slurping. “Dragon dreams. Anyone connected to you can wander in.” She eyes Kieran like he’s a snack. “This one’s been circling. I let him in.”
She pulls out a stool. “Sit.”
