“Because if I were there, Lucy would have survived.”
Pepper leans back. Tears spring to her eyes and she just stares at me in horror.
“The alternative?” She can barely get the words out.
“Your Ash is dying.” I whisper it like speaking softly will make it hurt less. “Davis will kill her soon. The iron—she won’t survive.”
“You or Lucy.” Pepper’s voice breaks. “How—what?—”
“I don’t have time to explain.”
“Make the fucking time, Ash!” Pepper slams her palm against the floor.
“Maybe if I could just—” Lucinda sits between us. “There.” She turns to me. “Always choose yourself.”
“Bu—”
Lucinda holds up a hand to both of us. “Don’t be foolish, either of you. Never apologize for choosing yourself, even to lick your wounds. How could you ever show up for another when you were hurting so much?”
“I couldn’t.” The words fall into the charged air.
“There. It’s settled.”
“Context.” Pepper’s hands ball into fists on her knees. “Give me context, Ash. Right now.”
The edges of the room shimmer. The pull of the trial tugs at my edges. I don’t have long.
“In my timeline, I wasn’t there.” I force myself to hold Pepper’s gaze. “When you went after Deimos—the final fight—I wasn’t there. I was somewhere else. On assignment. Telling myself you had your mates and you didn’t need me.”
Pepper goes very still. Lucinda’s hand settles on Pepper’s knee, steadying her.
“Cassandra killed Lucy.” I watch the words hit them both. Lucinda doesn’t flinch, but her fingers tighten on Pepper’s leg. “Cece jumped in front of Cassandra to save her from Lucy’s strike. Cece went down. Cassandra retaliated.” My voice breaks. “Lucy died in your arms while Deimos held his daughter. You held her, and I wasn’t there. I only know because I had to ask Sabina.”
“But I was.” Lucinda’s voice is barely above a whisper. She’s not asking—she’s piecing it together. “I was there, and I died.”
“You told Pepper before you went in that if you died, you’d be free. That it would be on your terms.” Every word scrapes out raw. “And Pepper named her daughter after you.”
Lucinda’s composure cracks. Just a hairline fracture—a single blink that lasts too long. Then she turns to Pepper, and whatever passes between them doesn’t need words.
Pepper’s jaw works. “And their Ash—your version of me—” She points at the door where little Lucinda Elspeth just ran through. “Was she there? For the fight?”
“Yes,” Lucinda answers before I can.
We both snap our attention to her. She shrugs, though her eyes are wet.
“If this is the version where Ash showed up, then yes. I’d bet everything that she was there.”
“She was.” Pepper’s voice turns flat—calculating. I’ve heard that tone before, right before she walked into a coven and declared herself a chaos witch. “Ash was beside me when we went in. She and Talon flanked the rear entrance. When Cassandra went for Lucy, Ash?—”
Pepper pauses. Looks at me with fury and devastation warring in her expression.
“Ash intercepted her.”
The room tilts. My lungs forget how to work.
“She disarmed Cassandra before the killing blow could land.” Pepper’s voice grows harder. “Lucy still got hurt. Connor healed her.”
A pause. Her eyes locked on mine.
