I drop, moments before the whiz of a blade arcs over my head. I roll out of the way as Pepper cuts his head off.
Wheezing, I lie on the cold, wet, disgusting Philadelphia sidewalk, breathing hard as the stars twinkle overhead.
“I think there’s a hypodermic needle at your head.” Pepper offers her palm.
Slapping mine in hers, she hauls me up then yanks me close.
It’s unlike her.
Off balance, her eyes become lighter. More blue than grey. “I still don’t forgive you.”
I’m falling backwards.Strong arms catch me before I finish the thought.
The forest snaps back. Too bright. Too loud. My heart is doing something irregular and my feet don’t know where the ground is.
I step away from the arms holding me before I’ve decided to. Then I clock the warmth. The steadiness.
Orion.
“Ash.” He touches my elbow. “Ash.”
I gulp in air that my lungs don’t expand for. Like I’m inhaling through a straw. Too tight. Too restrictive.
“Ash.” Orion sweeps me up in his arms, his stride never faltering.
No one notices. I’m thankful for that small mercy.
“I can walk.” I protest even as I rest my head on his shoulder.
“I know you can walk. But…” His throat works. “I want to hold you right now. Your distress is running through the bond like static.” He runs his jaw along the top of my head, holding me tighter.
“Pepper won’t forgive me.” I tell him my truth even though I know he won’t have any idea who or what I’m talking about. And that is also the problem.
This is the first time I’m even talking to him.
That’s what I notice first. I’m not fighting it.
I just let him carry me.
The forest moves around us. Jadeve’s people in formation, silent and efficient, the dark between the trees belonging to them in a way it doesn’t belong to us.
Orion’s warmth at my back has become his warmth at my side, my cheek against his shoulder, his jaw resting on the top of my head.
“Pepper,” I say. Because he asked why, and because he caught me when I fell, and because the vision is still sitting in my chest like something lodged. “She’s my oldest friend. Twenty-five years. Since before I understood what friendship even was.”
Orion says nothing. Just walks. Just listens.
“Her name is Pepper O’Malley. She runs a bar in Philadelphia that moves walls when she’s emotional.” I pause. “That’s not a metaphor. The walls actually move. She has chaos magic and five mates and a daughter she named Lucinda Elspeth after our friend Lucy who died.” My throat closes on thelast word. I push through it. “She named her after Lucy. And I sent a stuffed bear with a card.”
The forest breathes around us.
“I didn’t go,” I say. “I could have. There were missions, there were always missions, but the truth is I was afraid.” The word tastes like the thing Pepper called me.Coward. “I watched Sabina get her mates and her pack. I watched Vanessa find her mates. I watched Pepper get five men who would burn the world for her and a daughter with chaos magic already humming under her skin before she could walk. And I?—”
I stop.
Orion waits.
“I had a kitten Jasper gave me,” I say. “I don’t even know where she is.”
