The sad part is that I can’t hate him for it because he means well. He’s trying to do right by me. Or, at least, trying to do what hethinksis right for me. He’s almost twenty years older than I am. He has a daughter close to my age. A daughter who happens to be my future sister-in-law. It’s a mess of epic proportions. But I don’t want to marry the guy. I just want him to service my needs.
I’m the girl that goes after what I want because I’ve learned that life can fuck you over when you least expect it. There’s no time like the present. And right now, Mr. Salvatore D’Angelo is the only man on my mind. It’s been that way for alongtime.
And I’ve done nothing to try and change that.
My phone chimes with a text and when I read Hayley’s group chat message, I laugh. It’s as if she read my mind.
HAYLEY: I haven’t discussed this with Paige yet—don’t hate me—but I’m thinking it’s time for that girls’ night we keep talking about. We can celebrate her last few weeks of freedom. What do you say, Paige? Saturday night?
Paige refused a bachelorette party, but she mentioned at the time that she’d love to go out with her close friends, and Hayley’s finally taking action. I could use a night out.
PAIGE: Just the girls?
HAYLEY: Of course. Only those of us on this group chat
PAIGE: That sounds perfect. Let’s do it!
AMELIA: I’m in
BLAIR: Me too. Where are you thinking, Hayley?
HAYLEY: Nowhere yet. I’m open to ideas
HAYLEY: Keeley, what about you? You deserve some fun
AMELIA: Agreed
PAIGE: I second that
AMELIA: If you can
I smile at the support of my friends, support for both Paige and me. They know work usually takes precedence over fun. And they’d never push me. But it’s nice to know they haven’t ruled me out completely. Because in this instance, I want to go. Hayley’s right; I deserve some fun—a night out—and more than that, I want one.
Another message comes through as I’m lost in my head, this one outside of the group chat.
PAIGE: Everything okay? How was day one?
I’m confused as to what warranted her message until I realize I never responded to the group chat.
KEELEY: I’m good. Today was good. I’m coming out with you all. I’ve just been busy. I’ll let the girls know
KEELEY: But if you don’t want this, I’m happy to try and shut it down
PAIGE: No way! You know I love spending time with you all. As long as it’s nothing like a bachelorette party, I’m ready to go
KEELEY: Great, I can’t wait
PAIGE: Love you
KEELEY: Love you too
Though I know her response is genuine, a twinge of guilt settles in my stomach. I’m usually the first person to talk about my problems. Only…how do I talk honestly to Paige when the problem is my infatuation with her dad?
Even more of a reason to move on.
KEELEY: I’m there!
I text the group chat.
