“It means that I think we should help each other out. I’m busy; you’re busy. We don’t have time to get it elsewhere, so why not?”
Jesus Christ. Why does that sound worse than a casual relationship?
“If I’m helping you, are you prepared to lose thefriend?”
“What?” She frowns, confused. “Why would…” She pauses, and a glint of humor sparkles in her eyes before she schools her features and straightens her posture. “I can’t. Leo means too much to me.”
Leo. Jesus. “I didn’t need to know his—” Keeley’s laughter cuts me off and my brows furrow. “What?”
“Have I told you I like seeing you jealous, Mr. D’Angelo?Sir.”
“Keel—ley.”
“Leo is my vibrator. You don’t have to be jealous. We can share him.”
Fuuck. I groan, dropping my face into my hands.
“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this, Keels.” She opens her mouth to speak, but I lift a hand to signal for her to wait. “Full transparency?” I ask, standing slowly, struggling to counter my erratic pulse.
“Please,” Keeley whispers, the humor leaving her eyes.
“I don’t want some kind of casual arrangement with fleeting preorganized encounters and strict boundaries. I don’t want you to use me as a replacement forLeo, waltzing into my office so I can get you off.” I pause as the thought of that pops into my head. “Okay, maybe I’m not opposed to that last one. But I want more. I can’t do casual. Not with you. Only, I’m not sure I can do a relationship either. I’m at a loss here. There are far too many factors at play. I know I’m overcomplicating what I’m sure you thought would be relatively simple. I apologize for that. But this is bigger than us, Keels. As shitty as that is.”
She’s quiet when I’m done, and I have a feeling that’s the first time I’ve ever made her speechless while she’s been fully clothed. “Are you okay?”
“You want more?”
Fuck, yes.I think I want it all. “What I want doesn’t matter. We have other people to think about.” I blow out a breath as I glance away. I can’t do casual because I’m already in too deep to pretend. And I can’t ask for more, because I’m setting us both up for heartbreak when this undoubtedly ends in explosive fashion.
“If only our relatives weren’t getting married, right?” Keeley whispers, pulling my gaze to find her suppressing a smile. “I’m kidding.”
Her laughter brings me out of my heavy thoughts, and I smile back at her.
“You’re kidding?”
“No, not really. It would make our situation a hell of a lot easier. I was kidding about bringing it up during a serious moment. I just wanted to cool the room a little.”
“Thanks. Sorry. I really killed the joy of it all.”
“No, you didn’t. You were honest and real. Which is something I’ve always valued about you.”
“Thanks, Keels. Why does this have to be so goddamn complicated?”
“It doesn’t have to be. It is what we make it.”
She locks me with her stunning gaze, trying to appear strong while a shaky breath gives her away, offering me a rare moment of vulnerability.
Something tells me it’s too late for us both. We flew past casual in the private jet everyone seems to think I own.
And I don’t think either of us know where to go from here.
Chapter Thirty-Two
KEELEY
Sal’s gaze locks me in a choke hold, and I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat. He’s right. About everything. He can always see through me.
I don’t want a casual relationship any more than he does. The only reason I’m suggesting it is because it’s less complicated that way. It’s easier to ignore the various excuses screaming at us to walk away, trying to convince us that it’s never going to work.
