“No,” Danika says vehemently.“No way.Sadie will be there, so that’ll be good.”
“Won’t let you out of my sight,” I promise.“Let’s all sleep over here after?”
“Yes!”Darcy says excitedly.“We’ll be back after dinner.”
“Are you talking to Jonathan tomorrow too?”Danika asks carefully.
I shrug.“If I see him.He’s avoided me all week.But I’m not sure what to say, exactly.I don’t understand any of this.”
“Maybe you just listen,” Jaz offers, her brown eyes imbuing me with bravery.
Nervous energy leaps from girl to girl like an electric charge.
Nothing will be the same after tomorrow.As dramatic as that sounds, it feels even worse.
Chapter Twenty-Six
You can’t go to the bonfire.”
I swallow.
I haven’t seen Jonathan for five days.And now he’s standing next to his truck, parked beside my car in the school parking lot, looking at me likehe’sa bonfire.
“Excuse me?”I rasp out.
“Tonight.You can’t go.Not with them.”
“Are you serious?”I find my voice somewhere in the depths of my feet.
“I don’t want you around Oren, Livvy and all of them.Okay?”
“You’retellingme—” Then I shake my head to clear the spinning.“Thisis what you want to talk about?After not hearing from you all week, you show up just totellme what I can’t do?”
“Can we not do this here?”
I spin around to find Collin behind me.He hasn’t spoken to me either.
I’ve spent the entire week struggling to focus.Sleep.Eat.Hold any sort of coherent conversation.The only thing holding me together are my girls.Them and dance.I’ve avoided everyone else, including my parents.Or everyone else has been avoidingme.
“Meet us at the garage,” Collin says before climbing into the passenger side of the truck.
I’m vibrating in the driver’s seat, trailing behind Jonathan.There’s definitely anger rushing through my veins.I recognize the angst of frustration rattling in my throat.And the all-too-familiar swirl of fear in my gut.I take a breath.When I go to blow it out, I scream.
So loud that when I come to a stop at the red light, the passenger in the car beside me looks concerned.I smile maniacally, all teeth.
By the time we pull in front of the garage, I’m bouncing in my seat, one big swirl of emotions.I’m surprised I’m not hiccupping.I hold my breath, just in case.
Collin is standing in front of my car, staring at me.I realize I still have a death grip on the steering wheel and haven’t shut off my engine.He shakes his head and comes to fetch me.
“C’mon, weirdo,” he says.“I promise it won’t be that bad.”
I relinquish the strangle hold on the steering wheel and turn off the car.“You promise?”
“Only for us,” he assures me.“I can’t say the same for Mr.Intensity over there.”He nods his head toward the truck.Jonathan is still in the cab, blasting music.“I told him I wanted to talk to you first.”
Collin and I have honestly never fought.We’ve never used thewe need to talkline on each other.
Jonathan and I haven’t either, other than the anxiety-inducedare we togetherconversation in October.There’s an energy between us that we always skated around, built upon unspoken feelings, thought and, apparently, a closet filled with a cemetery’s worth of skeletons.
