“On her lips, idiot.”
“So, if you kissed me right now, my lips would taste like peanut butter?”Collin pulls a package from his pocket and devours a peanut butter cup whole.“Wanna twy?”He’s looking at me, puckering his lips while still chewing.
I shake my head, grossed out.“No way.”
“Have you ever been kissed?”
“What’s your sudden obsession with kissing?”Jonathan demands.
“I want to make sure I’m good at it.I think we should practice.”
“You’re going to make me throw up,” I say, placing a hand on my stomach.
“What?It’s not like Jonathan’s gonna do it.He’s had plenty of practice.Sadie, I’m all you’ve got.”
Jonathan looks shocked.Collin smiles at him.
Jonathan jumps from the slide and tackles Collin.“I have a fist for you to kiss.”
Collin howls with laughter, kicking Jonathan off him.
I’ve tried to hide my crush on Jonathan so hard.And maybe Collin is right.He’ll never like me more than a friend.But could I like Collin?I shudder at the thought of kissing him.He’s like my brother—except, unlike Gavin, I actually like Collin.
I watch them roll around on the grass below the playscape.Having boys as best friends is so weird.
My car is in the drivewayby the time I leave for school the next morning.Sleep was impossible.I don’t know if Hal kept his word and Jonathan was released.My father couldn’t—or wouldn’t—find out for me.
Mom came into my room after dinner—which I didn’t eat—but I pretended to be asleep.
Jaz and Darcy called but were told by each parent that I couldn’t come to the phone.
“Come straight home after school,” my mother insists as I walk out the door.
“I have dance,” I call over my shoulder and shut the door before she can say anything else.She knows dance isn’t until four.I’m basically daring her to ground me or whatever.I’ve never been grounded.I’ve also never defied my parents like this.Other than sneaking out my window to meet Collin and Jonathan at the park up the street after curfew.But it’s not like we were drinking or doing anything other than acting ridiculous on the equipment.And playing the games Collin made up that made absolutely no sense.
We haven’t done that since sophomore year.Before Jonathan and I started dating.
That’s what I feel my life is divided into: before and after.Before, we all got along and laughed at the dumbest things.After, the three of us hardly ever hang out together, and everything feels… intense.
Before, Collin and I told each other everything.After, Collin dated some girl, and I don’t even know her name.She’s the first girl since sixth grade that Collin’s gone out with.And he only went out with Christie Mulligan for, like, a week because he heard she’d kissed a bunch of boys and he wanted thepractice.Doesn’t really count.Especially since Collin’s kissed a lot of girls since without dating any of them.By now, he must be reallygood at it.Not that I’d know or have been told.Just the thought of Collin kissinganyonestill makes me uncomfortable in a way that catching Gavin kissing a girl never did.
Before, I had no idea Jonathan and his father fought.After, I can’t believe I didn’t suspect it earlier.
Now, I can’t unsee it, and the guys will probably never talk to me again.Add them to the list.
I am officially the absolute worst friend.
When I arrive at school, everyone watches me pass.Okay, not everyone.But it feels like it.I don’t know why they’re looking at me.I’m not the one who got arrested.
My stomach aches.
Hal’s bruised face.Their raised voices.Jonathan’s fist—
I stop myself from replaying the reel in my mind, the one that keeps me awake at night.I want to understand what transpired behind the closed garage door.What Hal said to make Jonathan angry enough to hit him.Not just once—but over and over.
Maybe Jonathan gets so blind with rage, he starts swinging until someone stops him.Except Collin wasn’t there and I… ran away.
This explosion feels so much worse than when he hit Oren.That time, he was protecting me and—
