“They’re okay.They do that sometimes.”His words aren’t reassuring.Especially when his voice drifts until barely audible.
“Really?”I ask, my question sounding feeble to my own ears.Like there’s any possible way that anything about this is okay.
Ryan shrugs.“Thanks for… this.”He looks down at the rolled fabric, tied with bows.“You should go.”
Ryan looks back when he reaches the steps.Worry etches into his brow when he sees I haven’t moved.I raise my hand to gesture bye and start toward my car when a crash startles me.
I have to turn around.
I cannot walk away from this, no matter hownormalthis may be for this family.Or how much my body is trembling.I can’t do what my father asked of me; ignoring this is not who he raised me to be.
Making certain Ryan is already in the house, I cross the driveway to the garage, not knowing what I’ll do when I get there.But maybe my presence alone will make them stop—embarrassed into inaction.
When I near the door, I can see them through the window.Jonathan’s back is to me, expanding and contracting with heavy breaths.They’re clutching each other’s shirts, faces close.Hal says something to him.He shifts his gaze over Jonathan’s shoulder.I freeze.I think he may have spotted me.He releases Jonathan and raises his hands, placating.He takes a couple steps back.Still talking.
Jonathan swings his fist, smashing Hal in the jaw.His father falls back against the metal shelves.The sudden violence forces the air from my lungs.With a growl of rage, Jonathan pulls his elbow back for another strike.I spin away.I can’t watch.
I can’t be here.I cannot see this.
I run to my idling car and put it into drive as I’m closing the door.I spin out in the driveway, accelerating in the turn.I fumble with the seat belt as the car bounces down the dirt drive, leaving a cloud of dust in my rearview mirror.I’m not careful along the bumps and divots as I was coming in.The need to escape is so strong; nothing else matters.
Tears blur my vision, making it difficult to see where I’m going.I can’t catch my breath.Breathing is impossible.
What did I see?This can’t be real.
Within a few minutes, I’m pulling into Collin’s driveway and shoving the car into park.
I cover my face with shaking hands and begin to sob so hard that I’m breathless.My lungs cave in on themselves with each cry that races to the surface.
“Sadie?What happened, sweetheart?”
My door is open.Collin’s mom is crouched beside me.“Tell me what it is.Did something happen to you?”
The shock of seeing her sobers me.I shake my head, still unable to speak.
“Do you want me to call your dad?”
I shake my head again, swiping at the tears that won’t stop.“Can you tell me one thing?Did someone harm you?”
The worry in her eyes has my lip quivering.My mouth forms the word, “No.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Is… uh… ” I try again.“Is Collin… here?”I do not recognize my voice as it strains to form sounds.
“He’s at the garage.”
I nod.“Okay.”I swipe at my face again with the cuffs of my sweater.My eyes feel raw and swollen.
“I can’t let you leave like this,” Jane insists.“I need you to be calm before you drive.”I nod.“Breathe for me.Deep breaths.”
I nod again and try to even out my breathing as it quakes with every inhale.After a few rounds, it’s easier.The tears have slowed until I can nearly blink them away.
“Better?”she asks.I nod.Talking still takes too much effort.
“Thank you,” I manage to whisper.
“I’ll let him know you’re coming.”She stands and allows me to shut the door.
