“Oh.Well, see.That’s what I mean.I don’t even know the difference or what that is.The only thing I knew was that you didn’t want to be like your—” I stop myself.I meet Jonathan’s eyes.“Why?What does he do to you?”
Jonathan focuses on the far wall, instantly withdrawn.He’s shutting me out.I figured out long ago what to say and what not to say so this wouldn’t happen.But I don’t want to be careful anymore.To not say the wrong thing.To make everyone else feel better.If I’m considering changing the course of my life so we can stay together, I have to know the things he doesn’t want to tell me.
“Please help me understand.”I lift his hand and press it to my heart.“You can trust me.”
His eyes flick my way.“I know that.”He swallows, staring into the distance.
“Tell me whatever it is.Jonathan, I want to knowallof you.Even the parts you don’t think I’ll love.Or understand.I’ve loved you nearly my entire life.There’s no way that’ll change if you let me in.If anything, it’ll make me love you more.”
His eyes are on mine.The penetrating gaze that can see through to my soul.That shields his secrets and keeps him distant enough that I never quite know what he’s thinking.I search for a hint of what may be running through his mind.What he’s feeling.
Jonathan leans down and brushes his full lips against mine.My eyes instantly drift closed.“You know me.”His words are heat against my mouth.He kisses me again, pressing harder.“You are the only one who really knows me.”He leans in and licks my lower lip.I seek more, but he pulls away again.“You’re the only one who will ever know me.”
This time, when he leans in, I wrap my arms around him, not allowing him to escape.When our mouths meet, there’s an explosive surge of fire and electricity that captures my breath.He’s over me in a second, pressing me flat against the bed.
“Jonathan,” I murmur in a flush of color, lost to the fire between us.
“Hmm.”A trail of kisses down my neck has me arching, gripping his back.“I love you.”The heat of his hands scorches the bare skin beneath my shirt.“You’re the only one I will ever love.”
The pressure of him on top of me has me squirming.I reach for his shirt, but he’s already tugging it over his head.I skate my hands over muscle developed from years of dedication in the pool.In the gym.On job sites.He is smooth skin and defined strength.I run a gentle touch over a healing bruise on his ribs.I still can’t believe I get to touch him.This isn’t a dream.
I scramble to remove my sweater.Not nearly as graceful or seductive.My face turns hot with embarrassment when it gets caught around my neck, my necklace tangling in my hair.
Jonathan chuckles.“Hold on.Let me help you.”
Instead of pulling it free, his lips dance across my stomach.I cry out in surprise, my muscles contracting with the ticklish sensation.
“I know how sensitive you are,” he reminds me.Brushing his fingertips across my exposed skin.I squeak in protest.“I thought I’d take advantage of your situation.”I wriggle beneath him.
“Jonathan!”I cry out in pained laughter, struggling even more with the sweater, probably making it worse.The necklace tugs my hair.“Ow!”
“Sorry.Sorry,” he says, quitting his gentle torture.“Hold still.”He dexterously untangles my necklace and eases the sweater over my head.My styled waves are filled with static electricity.As always.
“I tried to be as sexy as you,” I tell him, sounding deflated.“But I’m not.I’m sorry.”
The smile on his face is so big; I wonder if he actually heard me.“You’re perfect.”I give him a confused look.He definitely didn’t hear me.“Sadie, I’ve also loved you my entire life.I know exactly who you are.And this, getting your sweater caught while we’re in the middle of undressing, is one of about a million reasons I love you.”
“So… you don’t care that my hair looks like I stuck my finger in a light socket?”
He shakes his head.“I love your wild, untamable hair.”He kisses me behind my ear.
“Or that I wear boring white cotton bras?”
“Uh-uh.”He kisses my collarbone.
“Or that I get hiccups when I’m nervous?”
“I have water on the side table.”He kisses along the edge of cotton fabric.
“Or…” But I can’t think any more because his hands are unsnapping the fabric, sliding it off my arms.Nope.Not thinking.Or talking.Only feeling.Ireallycan’t believe this is happening.
The doorknob jiggles, followed by a loud, pounding knock.“Jonathan?”
I jump up and knock my head against the headboard.“Shit.”
“What do you want?”Jonathan hollers back, his deep tone nearly a growl.I’ve never heard him sound so threatening before.
I scramble to replace what was taken off.Probably putting it on backward.His father is on the other side of the locked door, thinking that we’re doing… well, exactly what we’re doing.
