“Stay here for a minute, okay?”Jonathan grabs a duffel bag from behind his seat and gets out, leaving me in the dark.The chill of the night rushes in quickly with the truck shut off.
There’s a bunch of noise in the back of the truck.Scraping.Clicking.Shuffling.I sit still, just listening.Completely unprepared for what I find once he comes back for me.
The bed of the truck is lit by a lantern, and in it is what looks like layers and layers of plush blankets.
“Thought we could… I don’t know… look at the stars and just…” He doesn’t finish.I smile.
“Cuddle?”
He shrugs sheepishly.“That too.”
He helps me up and pulls back the blankets.I’m surprised to find a cushion under another blanket when I sit down.
“This is really comfortable.”
“Stole the long cushions from the pool chairs.Thought it’d be more comfortable and protect us from the freezing metal of the truck bed.”
I curl up next to him once he’s covered us with the thick, fluffy blankets.The air is so cold, I can see my breath.But I’m warm in his arms, my leg draped over his with my head on his chest.He reaches over and fiddles with something.Guitar chords cut through the silent night from a small speaker beside his chair.
Jonathan pulls a thermos out of a duffel bag, along with two mugs.“Hot chocolate?”
“Of course!”
He even has a baggie filled with marshmallows that I eat straight from the bag, not bothering to put them in the mug.“You always pluck the marshmallows out of the hot chocolate, so I figured this way, you won’t burn your fingers.”
“I haven’t burned my fingers in a long time.I’ve mastered it now,” I say in mock defense.
He kisses my forehead.“You’re exactly the same… and not.”
I tilt my head so I can see his face, hoping he’ll explain.
“You still care about everything and everyone so deeply.You still peel the crust off your pizza and eat it first.You still get the hiccups when you’re super nervous.And you still let us talk you into trying the dumbest games.”
“I hardly ever get the hiccups now,” I correct.“How am I different?”
“You’re braver.Although you’ve always stood up for what you believe in.You’re starting to stand up for yourself now too.And you’re more beautiful than my ten-year-old self ever could’ve imagined.”His eyes are on mine, his gaze stealing my breath.“And I love you more than I thought was possible.”
I don’t notice when he takes the mug out of my hand.I can’t stop staring at him.“You love me?”It’s a whisper, my voice lost to disbelief.
“For a long time,” he says.“Probably since that time you found me in the woods.”He brushes his hand ever so gently against my cheek, capturing the tear that escaped without my knowing.Before I can find my voice again to tell him the exact same thing, his lips capture my words.My thoughts.My heart.
They’re all I can feel.The soft warmth of them against my mouth.Against my cool cheek.Along my neck.I’m gripping the front of his jacket, pulling him closer.Needing him closer.My breath a pant of clouds.
I pull him down over me.His hand is warm as he slides it up the back of my thigh, wrapping my leg around him.His mouth is urgent against mine.I haven’t let him go.Not until he unzips his coat and mine, shrugging them off.It’s almost too warm beneath the blankets even though it’s near freezing above them.
My body feels like it’s on fire.My heart heating it with every quickened beat.I am ablaze as his hands discover me.His mouth tortures me.The heat from his body undoes me.He’s pressed so close against me; I don’t have to imagine anymore.
My words erupt.
“I love you.I love you.I love you.”
Chapter Twenty
Ipush the pancake aroundin the syrup with my fork.Moments from the night before flit through my mind.It’s like I need to keep living them over again so they’re etched in my memory forever.
I learned that Jonathan found the field when he visited it with his dad to scout the land with a developer.And since the abandoned farmland is so far away from anything, he thought it would not only provide privacy, but allow us to view the stars.And they were incredible… once we finally focused on them and not each other.My hair was an orbit of static electricity from the blankets, sticking to everything, including Jonathan.It was ridiculous.
It was a night of firsts even though we never took off anything other than our jackets.We finally declared our feelings for each other.Feelings planted years ago that have grown so big, they’re impossible to contain any longer.Now everyone who looks at us can see it.And maybe, just maybe, it’s not so breakable.
