His smile widens as he steps closer, setting his hand on my knee to uncross my legs.“Because if I looked at you”—he steps between my legs once again—“I’d want to touch you”—he grips my hips and thrusts me forward so I’m pressed against him.I let out a small yelp in surprise—“and I thought I wasn’t allowed to, and it was killing me.”
“Oh,” I barely utter before he’s kissing me again.And this time, I let him—and even reciprocate.
I’ve had a crush on Jonathan Reeves most of my life.I loved him before I knew what it meant.I tortured myself all through middle school and most of high school, wanting to be more than just his friend, but never wanting to jeopardize that connection.Because he’s my best friend, and that came before everything.Even kissing him.Which is hard to remember right now with his lips attached to mine, and my body tingling and pulsing, and maybe even throbbing a little.
I run my hand up his chest, and he pops away.That’s the sound our lips make when he suddenly disconnects.
A second later, the garage door opens, and Collin’s holding out a smoothie for me and an energy drink for Jonathan.
“Are we still awkward?”He shoots me one of his adorable, innocent but knows-he’s-not grins.
“Very,” I say, glaring at Collin.He could’ve waited, like, two more minutes before entering.
I hop down from the counter now that Jonathan has basically moved to the other side of the garage to give me enough space to do so and check my phone.
“I have to meet Danika.I’ll see you guys later.”
“When?”
The question comes out so quickly with just a hint of need, and it turns me around.
“I mean, are you around tomorrow?”
I smile gently at Jonathan.He really is trying even though he doesn’t need to in front of Collin.If there’s anyone who is absolutely fine with us being together, it’s Collin.
Then I remember what I’m doing tomorrow, and my smile deflates.“My dad is announcing his candidacy tomorrow, so I have to make anappearanceat a bunch of events with my family.Sorry.”When I see the light in his eyes dim, I add, “Call me later?”
He nods, not uplifted by this request.We’re not great at talking on the phone.Collin and I can talk for hours.But calls with Jonathan are filled with more silence than words.And texting isn’t much better.Wedotalk.But it’s usually when we’re not expected to, and all a phone call is, is expected conversation.
Our friendship, and now our relationship, needs room to blossom slowly.Nourished with patience and a heavy dose of acceptance.I know this.I’ve had years to nurture it, hoping we’d flourish.Which is why I haven’t pressured him to makeuspublic.
After this summer, I was the one who suggested keeping what was happening between us a secret.I cannot believe we spent the last six years as friends when we could have been so much more all this time.Anyway, I don’t want to add expectations to be more than we’re ready to be.
The crunch of gravel turns me around just as I reach my car.Jonathan jogs over to me.I look at him curiously.“What did I forget?”
Jonathan wraps his arms around me.“This.”Then his mouth is pressed against mine, and I forget how to breathe.It’s a gentle kiss, but it says everything we didn’t say to each other inside the garage.
Wearetogether.
Jonathan inches away.He hands me my clutch because I forgot it on the counter.“I’ll call you tonight.”
I watch him walk back inside, the clutch dangling in my hand.
I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s what we decided.Didn’t we?
Chapter Four
I’m lying on our rock, overlooking the river.My wet skin is an eruption of goosebumps.The warm slab, baking in the sun, is a relief.A shadow interrupts the sun, and I instantly feel its absence.I squint my eyes open.Jonathan is propped on his hand, looking at me.Really looking at me, for the first time in my life.The way I’ve forever been looking at him.
“What?”I ask, not trusting that I truly see the glint in his eye.
“Today’s been fun.”
“Um, yeah,” I answer.My stomach is a fluttery mess.I’m hoping my fantasy isn’t distorting my reality.But he’s right.Today has been fun, cliff jumping in the river.Talking.Laughing.Having lunch on our favorite rock.It’s not because we never do this.We pretty much live here during the summer.But this is the first time it’s been just the two of us.Collin’s always with us.Which I love because I love him.He’s the other half of me in a way only a best friend can be.But today, he had to help his grandfather install new AC units, and that left just Jonathan and me.
And, well… something shifted.It’s like without Collin here to add his humor to every moment, we were left with the truth of what we could be.What I’ve wanted us to be.And I think—I hope—he sees it too.
The way he’s looking at me right now, he has to know.
