“I kind of doubt it,” I said, “and if you want, I think you could actually move on now.”
“Wouldn’t that be a blessing.”
I envisioned the Asphodel Meadows, as I had with Henry, and a rush of wind came funneling around us. Handel let the wind begin sweeping him toward the mountain of fire. Too weary to even watch, I let go of the Meadows and slumped to the rocky ground.
The memory of midnight mass with my whole family flared and was gone. Another hollow opened up inside me. This one ached the same as when Henry had moved on.
“Jack,” Cassius said, kneeling beside me, “are you all right?”
I was exhausted and reeling. “All the souls inside it were captives. And Handel needed to move on. It just didn’t seem right to hold them. I’m so sorry.” Church came over and patted my shoulder. “As you’ve ever done, Jack, you followed your heart. That’s why Henry chose you.”
Kincaid stowed his rods. “So, you just sent Handel’s soul onward?”
“I think so,” I said. “If nothing else, we helped him see that he was more than he gave himself credit for.”
“That’s a solemn gift, Jack.” Kincaid crossed himself. “Use it with discretion, since I’m not sure it’s something for which we know how to count the cost.”
I had to smile. “Everything these days is discretion.”
“When you sang”—Lady’s eyes narrowed—“I was able to see Handel’s scars. If that’s part of this gift—allowing others to see a shadow’s occlusions—it’s another argument for discretion, Jack. One’s missteps shouldn’t be made a public matter.”
Lakshmi sheathed her sword. “I saw them, too, which makes me all the happier he’s gone. The killing is over.”
“I was just lucky that I understood a bad relationship with a parent.” I finally turned to Cassius. “Couldn’t stay away, could you?”
The centurion bent close. “I spent thirty years as a slave to Rome and two thousand years as a slave to the Shiguan. Across those many years, the things I have done . . . it was not that I could no longer imagine freedom, but that I no longer felt I deserved it.” Cassius paused.
“However, then I met you. We spoke of important things, shared mortal danger, as friends. It reminded me of the very good, very long past—before my time with the Legion.”
His family in Gaul. “I get it.”
“But across all those years,” Cassius went on, “and all the new thanatists I have served and often trained . . . well, what you did for Handel might be the most decent thing I have ever seen.”
He reached out and clasped my forearm in his massive hand. That grip felt awfully damned good.
“And by my reckoning,” he added, “I just saved your nates again.” I didn’t need a translator for that one. “No argument there.”
I then hurried past him to where the Ward lay on the ancient soil, her body broken and ravaged, her light guttering in the great wide darkness. I knelt down. Her crimson and amberthreads angled into the soil like anchor chains. I tried to pull them up to free her.
She shook her head.They are not my prison, Jack. They are my covenant.
Her face hung in translucent lines. She looked so weary.
“I’m really sorry,” I told her. “I just couldn’t do it. Didn’t seem right.”
I know. But you did manage to renew our bond.She looked over at Chuey.With the help of a friend.
Chuey had sung me my third verse, but the feeling inside it was still empty for me. “I haven’t really forgiven her . . .”
No, but you found the heart of what makes this ground hallowed.
That old chorus. “Family.”
She smiled.You still need to find your way onto the forgiving path, but you will find that path easier to walk now that you understand its destination.
I’d have to sort that out later. “But is it too little, too late?” I leaned closer. “Tell me what else I can do.”
She stared into my eyes a moment.You’re a good steward, Jack. When the slings and arrows come, just don’t cease to be you. That’s all we can ask.
