“Your twin left?” she asked, drawing her brows together.
“Well, kind of,” I said hesitantly. Then I simply dove in headfirst.
I shot right into a detailed explanation of everything that had led to me finding Mother here. How Father had arranged for Aviva to go to the South, howshe’dleft me and her best friend, Aurora, behind, and how it turned out months later that it had all been a setup. How Father marched over the border with as many troops as he could muster up and how we were ambushed before we could make it toCairnyl. Leaving a select few details out, I carriedonto explaintheveltikkhan Aviva and I had fought—and how it had ended with Father’s death instead of one of ours. I briefly summarized how the past month and a half since that battlehad been—howI’dascended the throne and howI’dfound Father’s journal, which had led me to the tower we then sat in.
After my explanation tampered off, we sat in a still silence for a few heartbeats. Then Mother let out a shaky breath.
“I’m so sorry you’ve gone through so much, and I wasn’t there.”She looked down before carrying on. “But…he’s truly gone?”sheasked quietly.
Slowly, I nodded,unable to utter the words aloud once again.
A sort of reliefseemed to floodher gaze, though she tried to hide it—along with another emotion Icouldn’tseem to place. It was like a spark had re-entered her eyes, one thathadn’tbeen there before. Ididn’tquite understand, butmaybe Ididn’tknow the full story just yet. If Father had taken away my abilities just to force me to fit into his mold better, what had he done to my mother in their time together?
“You said you hadn’t been able to access your zirilium until recently?” she questioned.
Shifting, I struggled not to turntailand run outthe door, but I still nodded.
“If you ever would like some help,I’dbe happy to help train you, Dimi.It’dbe my honor to do my best to pick up where I left off in your life all those years ago.”
She reached out then, gently grasping one of my hands in both of hers.
The contactseemed to easemyanxieties. That was until she looked down at our joined hands.
Clocking the dried bloodremainingunder my fingernails, she stilled. Even her breathing seemed to cease as her eyes locked onto the crusted blood on my hand.
Once I realized what she was looking at, I ripped my hand from hers and swiftly got to my feet. Before I knew it, I was across the space from her, my back against the door.
“Dimitri,” she breathed, her gaze on my face, searching and trying to read me—the way only Aviva had ever been able to.
My breathing sped up as guilt and anxiety overpowered any amount of comfort or relief I had felt before in the arms of my mother.
Without another word, I slipped out of the ornate door and locked it behind me, the sound echoing in my ears.
I would lock her away the same way I lockedupthe anxiety and guilt of whatI’ddone—at least until I figured out what to donext.
Chapter Twenty
That day marked the third of our group’s journey to Neokell. If we didn’t get back to our rendezvous point soon, the other half of our posse would start to worry.
That thought, among many others, kept me fromcompletely breaking down.
Butwe’dbeen going for days straight with little to no rest, and my body felt as heavy as my crown did.
We’dbeen switching between walking and shadow travel all day, but the exhaustion was starting to catch up to me. Not just physical exhaustion, but emotional, too. It allfelt liketoo much. So much so, I thought it might be better to feel nothing at all.
We zoomed by trees androckand even some animals, all in a rush to make it back to meet the others before the sunset. If Iwasreading the sun right,we’dmake it with time to spare—but only a little.
Despite that, when we materialized next to a crystal-clear creek for a quick break, Icouldn’thelp but itch tobethe water. The creekdidn’thave to think about its next moves—it always knew exactly where to go.
And right then, I wanted to be one with that.
Or at least as close as I could get.
As Laurence, Matea, and Byn all crouched—or stood, in Laurence’s case, as he could water wield—next to the creek to refill our waterskins,Ididn’tstop walking at the water’s edge.
Fully clothed, I walked into the frigid water, barely registering the temperature of it against my skin. The water filled my boots and soaked through my pants within heartbeats, as though it was welcoming me to be a part of it—exactly likeI’dwanted.
“Love, what are you doing?” I heard Byn call out as I passed him.
