I ran until my lungs burned, until my muscles cramped, until the effort it took to keep moving outweighed the voices trying torulemy every thought.
I was so focused on putting my own foot in front of the other that Ididn’thear the sound ofpaws running toward me until Atlas nearly knocked me over.
Having to force myself to an abrupt stopin order tonot run directly into him, I yelled out a strong, “Hey!”
“Don’t blame him, my love, I asked him to,” Byn called out as the duo came to a stop before me, then he slid down from his Titan Wolf’s back.
“How long have you been following me?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips and trying to act like Iwasn’tgulping air down.
“Long enough,” he replied, stepping forward and gently taking hold of my chin, tilting my face up towardshis.
“Why?”My voice grewquieter as the weight on my shoulders began to feel suffocating once again now that I was stagnant.
“Well, you might’ve blown our cover if you ran any farther,” Byn said, nodding toward where up ahead the forest became much thinner—something Ihadn’teven noticed.
It might’ve been over before it’d even begun, and it all would’ve been my fault.
My lungs tightened at the thought.
“Plus, I can feel it too, you know,” Byn said, meeting my eyes. “The pressureyou’refeeling. The anxiety, the fear, the terror. It feels like the sky is pressing down on you, right?That’show I felt before the Battle of Shadows. And you know who grounded me then?”
I peered up at him, worried that if I tried to speak, my voice would break.
“You did,” Bynanswered forme, then leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine. “You did, becauseyou’rethe strongest, most capablefaeI’veever met.You’reintelligent, and quick-thinking, and you trust your instincts—whichnever seem to steeryou wrong. And if anybody can kick this battle off positivelyand in our favor,it’syou, Avi.”
I bit mylipto keep it from quivering as I listened to him speak.
“And if at any time you need to push some of that fear my way,I’llhappily take it from you. But comeearlymorning, do not let your emotions rule you any longer.It’llonly mess withthe control you have over yourzirilium. Let it all out now, so thatyou’reready by the morning,” Byn reasoned.
Then he paused, allowing me space to express myself if Isopleased.
But I didn’t want to talk.
I wanted him tofeel.
So instead, I reached up on the tips of my toes and kissed him deeply.
The actionwasn’tonly a melding of our lips and bodies as we melted into each other, but it was also me opening the doorway between the very fibers that made up who we were. Usually, that doorway was cracked just enough for us to reach through, or for emotions to slip between us.
But this time, I reached inward and threw it wide open.
And with that connection solidified between us, I let him in completely.
And he engulfed every bit of me.
The greens of him bled into the blues and purples of me, creating multiple different shades and patterns in response. I let him feel all of me—the stress, the fear, the longing, the regret. EverythingI’dbeen holding onto for months—it was histo feel, too.
The stress of failing and, therefore, disappointing those I held dear.
The fear of making the wrong call and risking everythingwe’dworked for.
The longing for a brother and friend Iwasn’tsure I could save anymore.
The regret at taking a life—even though I knew Father had acted horrendously, I stillcouldn’thelp but wonder what I could have done differently.
All oftheseand more, I let Byn in the same way he swept into my mouth, tasting each part of me the same way he reached through that open doorway and touched every part of my very soul.
And as he did, I could feel his emotions, too, as they mixed with mine where our cores met. He was proud of me and was confident in my abilities. Yes, he was anxious—hedidn’twant to lose anybody else—but itdidn’tseem to be eating him alive like it had justmere months ago. The negative feelings within him had their space, yes, but they were outshined by the positive ones. The joy at being with me, the comfort of having a solid plan in place, the peace of believing the Stars were on our side. All of this and more seemed to radiate from him to me, until I finally felt all of that, too.
