“It doesn’t have to be. And I don’t want you to get to my age and have regrets.”
“Dad?” Simon started, tilting his head slightly.
Dale shook his head. “I know my situation is different, but that loneliness seeps into your bones. It’s been five years, and I ache for my Gerry every day. I miss our quiet nights cuddled on the couch while we fell asleep to whatever was on TV. I long to wake up and find him nestled against me.”
He paused. “The worst, though, is I canfeelhow different it is. I see people hugging, and something inside craves that simple touch. But when Idohug friends or family, it feels awkward because I rarely do it anymore. I keep a weighted blanket on my bed for those nights when his absence is too unbearable.”
Another pause, and a deep breath. “What I’m saying is… we’re human, and we have needs. Not in the way some alphas say it as an excuse to get somebody into bed, but in that we are social creatures. Being alone drains us in ways we don’t expect, and… I don’t want that for you.”
“Dale…” I murmured.
He gave me a tight smile. “Maybe I’m just an old man—ramblin’ on about things in the past. But you’re still young. There’s no reason for you to spend your life alone, unless that’s what you actually want.”
His words were like a punch to the gut.DidI want to be alone?
“Go,” Simon prodded. “You don’t want to break your promise.”
I turned to him. “You sure?”
He nodded. “I’m going to call Ellie; see if she and Jonathan can come for dinner.”
“You don’t need…” Dale started.
He turned to face his father. “No, Dad. I think we do.”
Dale let out an exaggerated sigh, but I thought I caught the hint of a smile. He turned to me and set his hand on my shoulder. “Go. Looks like this old man is in for a family night with his kids.”
He paused and smiled. “I hope that this alpha who’s caught your eye is the one who can make you happy.”
I swallowed. “Thanks.”
Dale backed off and took several steps toward Simon, who was already on the phone with whom I had to assume was his sister.
“Come on, Russy,” I said, patting my leg.
He fell in beside me as I waved and headed to my truck. A few minutes later, we were on the road to the mill—radio off as my thoughts swirled.
It was the blanket that stuck in my head. I didn’t have a weighted blanket, but so many nights, Russy would curl up next to me on the couch—a warm body sharing my space.
Grounding… contact…
I was on autopilot as I drove, and found myself pulling into the mill’s gravel parking lot before I knew it.
There were several other cars parked out front, probably people shopping for weekend projects. But they would provide a buffer.
I patted my pocket as I got out, making sure I had Russy’s leash, then headed in.
Craig and Harrison were both helping customers, and, for a moment, I hesitated. Normally, I’d start with the scraps, but I had no idea what Craig had set aside for me. He’d said it wasn’tas much, but I didn’t want to overdo it at the bin, then have to decide which to keep or put back.
I glanced over and managed to catch Craig’s eye. I nodded at him, then motioned that I was headed to check out the burls first.
He gave me a tiny nod in return.
Butterflies flitted in my middle.
It made no sense. He was a flirt, and I knew he was a flirt. But some part of me—deep down— liked the attention. Many other alphas would have moved on, and that he continued his attentions felt good.
Most gave up once they realized I wasn’t as desperate for a knot as they hoped.
