He wore the earnest expression she’d seen so many times: when she had been ill, when he’d helped her search for her missing kitten, when he’d found her hiding in the orchard to avoid her brothers’ teasing. Hedidcare about her—she did not doubt that—simply not in the way a husband ought to care for his wife.
George sat gingerly on the far end of the sofa. He had left the library door ajar, and they were affianced. Given the circumstances, few would have found anything amiss in his sitting directly beside her, but this long, awkward distance was more fitting. A chasm was growing between them, one they didn’t seem likely to span.
“I understand your father and Edward are due to descend upon us from London tomorrow.” It was as innocuous a comment as a mention of the weather or the general state of the countryside.
“Yes, I believe their business in Town is now complete.” Father had, after all, found her a husband and, in so doing, had secured money enough to pay off the estate’s debts and return home with hardly a care in the world.
“Have you ever wished to visit London?” George asked.
“It does not do to wish for things one can never have.” That had been her reasoning for years.
“I spend a portion of every Season in Town,” he said. “If you wish, you can as well, after we— once we are—”
He couldn’t bring himself to even speak of their marriage in solid terms. How lowering.
“My family and my governesses were forever treating me as though I hadn’t the intelligence for nuanced and layered conversations or the endurance for hearing uncomfortable news. But you, George. You never treated me that way. Until now.”
He didn’t speak but neither did he look away.
“Is this what I am to become to you? A lady with whom you cannot speak plainly, with whom you will never again be at ease?”
He slid across the sofa and sat directly beside her. “I am sorry that I am making such a mull of this. But, my dear friend, things have changed between us, and I do not yet know what our new footing is.”
He was as lost as she was. That only served to cast more doubt on the success of this arrangement.
“Do you remember my first visit to Downy House?” he asked.
“Certainly, I do.” She remembered every one of his visits.
“Do you remember what you said when you were first told that I would be spending the school holiday here?”
She shook her head, unable to recall her exact words in that moment.
“You said that you found it difficult enough sharing a house withtwoboys and could not possibly be expected to endure a third.”
She likely had said that, as those had been her exact sentiments at the time. “I was only eight years old, you’ll remember.”
“And, yet, in many ways not much has changed.” He took her hand in his, a gesture of reassurance. “My first arrival here was an adjustment for you, for both of us. By the end of that holiday, we had made our peace with one another. We were even marginally fond of each other’s company. By the end of mynext visit, we were very nearly friends. As the years passed, we became precisely that,dearfriends, in fact. Did we not?”
“We did.” She heard the wistful note in her words. No doubt, he did as well. Did he mourn the impending loss of that decade of friendship as much as she did?
“We found our footing, Caroline, and I believe we can again.” He bent low enough to catch her diverted gaze. “Will you allow us to at least try?”
She raised her head to look at him more directly.
“Three weeks is all I ask,” he said. “For three weeks, permit us the possibility of changing what has always been between us—not throwing it away, but building on it. See if in those three weeks you can find reason to believe we can make this a success.”
“And if I cannot?”
“I could never be happy in this marriage if you were miserable. I will not force your hand, you have my solemn vow.”
His words were so unexpected, she didn’t at first know how to respond. “You would release me from our engagement?”
“I have only ever wanted your happiness.”
She stood, thoughts colliding with one another at too fast a pace for sitting still. Her feet carried her to the fireplace, then the window, then past the sofa once more.
“I am certain Father has already spent the money he received.” Being perfectly honest with George seemed the best course of action.
