I swallow back emotion threatening to overtake me in the middle of the children’s section. I lean against a blue shelf that comes up to my waist, pretending to be interested in the latestDog Maninstallment. I flip through the pages, lingering on an orange cat who looks less than impressed. Same.
When I have a handle on myself, I put the book down and spot a man I would rather leave in the past. I unintentionally groan. Daniel would likely petition the council to kick Zander out as well. Right now, he’s chatting with one of his coworkers. Her back is to me, long dark waves snaking down her spine. If I had to guess, it’s Wren, the children’s librarian. God, I hope he’s not flirting with her. She just got back with her kid’s father and it is so not the time.
Of course, as I linger on this thought, he laughs, ends the conversation, and makes direct eye contact with me.
Oh, crap.
It’s too late to walk away, so I just smile politely while he casually rushes over. I have to make an effort not to roll my eyes at how hard he’s trying to be nonchalant.
“Hey!” I say with a lame wave when he winds up just a little too close to me. “How’ve you been?”
“Oh, I’m good. I’m good. It’s nice to see you! Are you—How about you?”
“I’m doing well, yeah,” I say, taking a step back. “Brianna just offered me a job.”
“Here? You’re going to be a page or something?”
I give him a light, fake laugh. “No. Just for, like, an event kind of thing. Teaching writing. She was talking about looping a few other authors in. It sounded fun.”
“You think you could do it? You’ve never taught anything before.”
I suck my lower lip between my teeth. I don’t like his tone or the way his eyes narrow, as if he’s sizing me up. I almost want to run up to Brianna and agree just to spite him.
“I’m sure we could figure it out,” I reply tightly.
Daniel adjusts his thin glasses that I still swear to God are only for the aesthetic. “Who’s we? Us?”
“Oh, no, not you.” I say, and his face falls. “I meant the authors.”
“Right. Right. Same ones from earlier this summer?” I bounce on my heels and shrug. “Hey, it’s none of my business but—”
“Why are you asking if it’s none of your business?”
“Whoa, no need to get defensive.” He shows me his palms, and this time, I do roll my eyes. “I just know you don’t want to hear it. You never take advice well.”
I huff, glance down at my watch, then back to him. “What do you want?”
“I know I’m not the only one who’s worried about you. You just…you like to see the best in people, but sometimes they don’t deserve it.”
“What does that say about you?” I ask. I cannot deal with this from every side. “Because I did try to see good in you and when we broke up, I got hurt. Does that make you undeserving or a terrible person?”
“Well, no, but I’m not the one who got arrested for—”
“For something thirteen years ago that you’re hearing about through the town grapevine.” I inhale deeply and flip my hair out of my face. “Look, it’s very nice of you to be concerned, but I’m fine. I’m a big girl and I can make my own decisions.”
Daniel doesn’t say anything. He slowly crosses his arms over his chest and nods. “Okay.”
We walk away without any further conversation, him into the library, and me out the front doors. I feel like Nicole Kidman the second the wind hits me, screaming into the abyss after her divorce from Tom Cruise. And that’s only partially because my eyes land on my beloved bakery right across the street.
I deserve a little treat.
I start down the steps, the wind whipping me from both sides, setting me off balance with so many books hanging off one arm. I whoop as my tartan skirt gets picked up, showing the world the tan biker shorts I have on underneath. I stop under the curve of a lamppost, made to look like an old gas lamp.
I should probably drop the books in my car before I go pick up a cake but—
“Zander!” I call across the street.
He freezes just outside the door of the bakery, a large cardboard box in his hands. The checkered curtain flaps when the door slams behind him. He’s in his uniform of a black shirt and shorts, with only a sprinkle of colour from another pair of socks I made for him. A moment of confusion crosses his features, before he absolutely lights up.
