“Let’s not talk about killing people, alright? It’s illegal.”
He grumbles. “If I mustn’t…”
I smile. “Thank you.”
The quiet stretches between us as I let his words soak in. I should believe I’m worth more than what Jeremy told me I was. I shouldn’t let someone who never loved me spoil my opinion of myself. Bastian doesn’t want that for me. Oscar doesn’t either. I bet if Renee knew, she wouldn’t want me to feel like this.
I deserve better.
I deserve better.
“There’s my Cait,” Bastian says, and it warms me through to the core.
“What, have I become part of your hoard?” I ask.
“Yes. You’re a living story I’ll consume every day, and now you’re mine,” he says, his voice soft but confident.
“Tell me your living story,” I say on a yawn.
He hums. “Not tonight.”
“Why not?” I ask indignantly. “You said you would tell me.”
“I don’t want you to drown.”
“What?”
“My story is long, and you’re tired.”
“After I bared myself to you, you’re trying to get out of being vulnerable with me?” I say with a scowl.
He chuckles and I can tell he’s uncomfortable. “Maybe a little bit.”
I stop my selfish line of thinking in its tracks. He’s ashamed, too. He’s scared and not ready yet.
“Okay…” I mutter. “I can wait.”
He sighs, the sound of relief overcoming him. “Thank you.”
nineteen
Picnic on the Dock, New Warlock on the Block
Imanage to survive the worst three days of my period with Renee doing me a huge solid by bringing some food. I didn’t have to explain what was happening to her, and that was an immense relief. Now, on the other side of the worst bit, I get back into my normal routine.
Yoga, shower, and breakfast take up the first hour and a half of my morning. The business block is next, working first on emailing local libraries and asking for their connections on book donations while listening to some Tortured Poets. Next, I contact a few of the Big Five overstock warehouses where I know less popular books go to die.
So many paperbacks have their covers stripped off before they’re sent back so the bookstore can write it off on their taxes. It’s sad, butgiven enough time, I could make a bunch of unique and beautiful books to feature.
I get a call around eleven for the electrician. Fortunately, I hadn’t blown the whole breaker, just fried the outlet because it wasn’t rated for my powerful heat pad. But the whole apartment needs to have updates if I want a fridge and modern stove, so Bastian, Oscar, and I scram.
I pick up a veggie tray and some premade egg salad sandwiches at the market before we head to the hotel Renee runs. They own a dock where they fix and rent boats. She thought it would be fun to have lunch on the water, but I didn’t feel awesome about taking Oscar out in his kennel. If it fell in…
Yeah, not thinking about that.
Drew meets us at the picnic style benches just beside the docks. He places a kiss on Renee’s crown and produces a Tupperware of meat slices.
“This okay?” he asks, looking at me.
