The thought of food turns my stomach. “No. I just want to lie here and die.”
Momma laughs once and goes back into the kitchen.
I swear she’s being loud on purpose, so I call her name. “Can you make me something? I need to be productive.”
“Of course, sugar.”
After some toast and bacon, I feel slightly better. Oh, and the coffee, that did a world of good. I take a long shower, allowing dirt and regret to flow down the drain.
I’m not sure what I regret, because there are just so many things to choose from.
I throw my hair in a braid, then up in a ball cap, and head out to the horses. I should do chores—I have a million—but I find myself where I always go when I need to reconnect with myself: to my horse.
A girl’s horse is everything. She’s my therapist. My friend. The one who loves me no matter what stupid thing I do.
“Hi, Olympia.” I pet her neck after she comes to greet me at the stall door. “You missed me this morning, huh?”
Her nose bumps my hand.
I take that as a yes.
“How do you feel about going for a ride?”
She makes a noise and I chuckle. “All right.”
I get her tacked up, and before anyone in my family can find me, we ride.
The ridge is one of my favorite spots to bring Olympia to. The town is situated ten miles away from a stunning ridge that you can reach only by horseback. There are no access roads, nothing to ruin the picturesque landscape. I usually do this ride a little faster, but thanks to my fabulous hangover, I don’t get to feel the wind against my face and forget the worries of the world.
I just take it slow.
Olympia must feel my mood and gives me a fun ride. We near the entrance to the trail that will take me to the top of the ridge, where I can close my eyes and breathe. I give her the reins and let her pick her steps, moving through the rocky area until we crest the top. The sun is high, puffy clouds that look like marshmallows are scattered, and the air just feels lighter.
“Let’s go see the view, okay, girl?” We move out there, going closer to the edge of the cliff, and then I pull back and she stops. “You stay here.”
I pat her neck, dismount, and walk to the edge.
There is nothing in this world like this view. The Rocky Mountains are in the distance, rising up out of the ground and creating a beautiful backdrop, but it’s what’s below that will take your breath away. In the canyon are stunning reddish-brown rocks that drop down to a river that feeds a lake miles away. On top of the canyon, it’s green grass and a few hills scattered around the landscape. When you stand here, you can see for what seems like…infinity. The peace and tranquility are everything I love.
I come out here when the world feels too heavy. Right now, right here, it’s just…serene.
I walk to the rock that juts out a little over the canyon, but not before I check on Olympia, who is grazing happily. We’ve come out here so many times, it probably feels like a second home.
No matter how often I’ve been out here, the view never fails to amaze me, and I usually find clarity when my mind is a mess.
Let’s hope it works this time, because I am on the Hot Mess Express.
I sit there, my legs hanging over the edge, and inhale, letting my thoughts go wherever the wind blows.
And it blows in the wrong freaking direction.
I see his face. His brown eyes, the desire that was so strong as I leaned into him. The anticipation of feeling his lips against mine, even knowing it would be a mistake. The way he held me as he walked down the driveway. How his heartbeat was steady and strong against my ear. And his scent. God, the way he smelled was…perfect.
My chest is tight as I think about Tristan and these stupid feelings I have for him. How did I get here? Because he rescued me one night? From that one interaction, I suddenly started thinking about him as more? Seriously, this is just asinine.
The only thing I can control is myself, and from this point on, I’m not going to think, look, smell, or dream about Tristan Stone.
“Seems we’re destined to see each other all the time now,” the deep voice that haunts me says from behind.
