Yeah, right now, but what about tomorrow or the next day? What about the future and the fear that surrounds it?
The thoughts come, one on top of the other, creating a vortex of worries. Lark must see something or sense it becauseshe shakes my face slightly. “Hey, none of that. Not tonight. Tomorrow you can go into your overprotective mode and worry about me and everyone you love, but tonight is not about that.”
God, I love her.
“Oh? What’s tonight about?”
“Us. You and me and our place. It’s about love and laughter. It’s about being together while the world is going on without us. Tonight, you’re mine and mine alone. Do you understand?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say with a grin. “Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow we’ll worry about all the other shit.”
I can live with that.
We both move into each other, our lips coming together as if she was made for me. I lose myself, my thoughts, my worries, in her. I unclasp her bra, letting it fall between us. Then she is tearing at my shirt, her fingers gliding across my chest.
“I love you,” Lark whispers.
“I love you too.”
And I do. In a way I didn’t know I could. Not because I’m incapable of it, but because it used to terrify me. Lark is sunshine and smiles and happiness. She’s the lifeline when I’m drowning and the starlight when it’s dark. Her brightness has eliminated all the emptiness that lived inside me.
My world was fine. I had Sadie. I had my family, and that was enough after the loss I’d been through. I didn’t want to expand my heart to anything else. I was good at pretending everything was enough.
Until Lark.
She made me see that the life I was living wasn’t enough.
“Make love to me, Tristan,” Lark says softly, her eyes meeting mine.
I carefully lower her back to the mattress, loving that it’s a bed and I can do that without worries of popping it or one of us going off it unexpectedly. I lie beside her, my hand trailingfrom her neck down over her breasts, to her stomach, and to the button on her jeans.
I undo the button, then slide the zipper down, and she lifts so I can pull her pants off. I toss them to the floor, leaving her in her panties.
“My turn,” she murmurs.
She does the same to me, only she removes my boxers at the same time. Her tongue slides against her lips.
“Like what you see?”
“Always. Even when I was supposed to hate you, I thought you were hot. I wondered what you looked like naked—often.”
My male ego takes the compliment and stores it away. “And is it what you hoped for?”
“No,” she says, and that compliment vanishes.
“What?”
Lark giggles. “You’re better. Knowing you, loving you, seeing you with Sadie, it all makes you better than I could’ve ever dreamed of.” Her hand moves to my cheek. “I’m a very lucky woman.”
I take her palm and bring it to my lips. “No, sweetheart. I’m the lucky one. Because you’re everything I never thought I could have. You’re beyond beautiful, smart, kind, brave, and a fighter.”
I don’t let myself go down the path of what-ifs. I stay in this moment, because all we have in life is this. We have the here. The now. The hopes of the future, but none of it’s guaranteed, and I want to enjoy the now.
“I’m already a sure thing, but if I wasn’t, that would’ve done it.” Lark grins. “Now how about you let me show you just how lucky I feel.” She slides down my body, kissing her way as she goes.
Fuck. I’m never going to survive tonight.
