I close my eyes as a tear falls, dropping to his chest.
Tristan must sense it because he tilts my chin up, resting his gaze on mine. “Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m a girl.”
His smile is soft. “Lark, don’t lie to me.”
Ugh. I don’t want to lie to him, but this is going to be a mood killer. Whatever, we’re not supposed to have moods other than screwing. “I just hate it. I wish you never lost Emmy Jo. I wish Sadie had her mother. I wish that Fallon didn’t have to bury the man she loved. I wish her son knew him, even though I don’t even know him. I know that my family holds blame in what she goes through. My heart aches for all of you, especially you two. She…was right, what she said. My family has hurt you, and I can’t make it better. I can’t.”
God, I said that, and I didn’t mean to.
“Who was right?”
The tears come in earnest now, and I hate that I’m breaking down. I don’t want to lie to him, so I decide to let it all out. I push up, crossing my legs, and look down at him. “Fallon. She saw me earlier today and she…well, she let me know what she thinks.”
Tristan sits up, taking my face in his hands and wiping at my now-constant tears. “I don’t know what Fallon said to you, but I promise, she’s wrong. You didn’t have a single thing to do with her losing Carrick.”
I shake my head. “No, I didn’t, but…”
“Stop,” he cuts me off. “Absolutely not. There is nobutin this, Lark. You weren’t there. You weren’t a part of that moment.You have nothing to do with the decisions your brother and Carrick made. Fallon knows this, but she has to blame someone, and so she put that on you. But she was wrong to do that.”
Oh, how I wish that were completely true. She has every right to be angry at my family. My brother cost her the love of her life, and then he disappeared to avoid facing the consequences of his actions.
I’m angry at him.
Then, to top it off, my other freaking brothers are calling the cops on them all the time.
It’s lunacy.
“I’m sorry,” I say, leaning my cheek into his palm. “For all of it. My family…I don’t know. Maybe Momma and Daddy are just angry that they lost their son, in a way, and they’re coming after your family because they blame you. I don’t get it. It’s wrong, and I just…the fact that we have to hide. That we meet here because we know the drama it’ll cause. It’s stupid.”
He leans in and kisses my nose. “We’re meeting here because we know what this is. To cause our families any kind of stress wouldn’t be fair.”
Yes, what this is. Only sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Like right now. Or when we were at the Grand Canyon.
Or pretty much any other time we’re together.
He’s holding me, kissing me, and it doesn’t feel like a transactional sexual encounter. It feels like…more.
I can’t say that, though. I have to steel my reaction because Tristan Stone is not for me. We have reasons, oodles of them. His sister being the most recent reminder I needed.
I lift my face from his touch and take his hand in mine. “I know all this. It’s just sad that we have to worry about it. That if Fallon ever found out about us, she’d probably kill me. She told me to stay away from Sadie, that I would just cause her pain. I need you to know that no matter what, I would never hurt or letanyone hurt Sadie. She’s sweet, and regardless of whatever you and I are or aren’t, your daughter won’t be involved. Not just because I do care about you, Tristan, but I loved Emmy Jo and I love Mary Lou. Sadie is a part of them, and they were like family to me.”
Saying her name aloud feels like a knife to my heart. Emmy Jo was my best friend’s sister, and here I am, fucking around with the man she married. Yes, she’s gone. Yes, I think that Emmy Jo would want Tristan to be happy and live his life. I’m pretty sure we all know that men or women in this town often find themselves involved with others from Infinity Ridge. Still, a part of me has just now realized how uncomfortable this tangled mess is.
Tristan falls silent, almost as though he’s absorbing the same reality I am.
I wonder whether he ever thinks about all of that.
I know I’ve done my best not to.
“Of all the things that I’ve worried about, you and Sadie aren’t on the list. My sister had no right to say any of that to you. So I’m going to apologize, because I know she never will. I’m sorry that you had to listen to her. I’m sorry that you’ve spent hours or however long thinking about this. If I didn’t want you near Sadie, I would’ve made that clear. If I worried about you talking to her, I would’ve said something.”
My chest loosens just a little. “She’s a really good kid.”
He smiles. “She is. Sometimes. I should actually put a stop to it, because you’ve got her renovating the fucking chicken coop. A chandelier? Really?”
I laugh. “Hey, happy chickens lay beautiful eggs.”
