He follows me over the edge, pulling me to his chest. I feelthe tears coming and I can’t stop them. I hate myself for this. I don’t want tocry in front of him, but I feel so raw.
Damn it.
I clamp my jaw tight and do everything I can to push myfeelings aside.
His thumb brushes against my temple and the beating of hisheart pounds in my ear.
“That was…”
I lift my head as the shame and self-hatred starts to build.I’m in my office. I just had sex in my freaking office. I should’ve stayedhome. God, what am I doing? I’m sleeping with opposing counsel, at work, and Ihave to review this case today. And then I start to wonder, what the hell isthis?
What are we even doing?
Cayden has never shown even a glimmer of interest until now.When his case has issues, and there is no way he can beat me. Now, suddenly, heneeds me?
Am I just some part of his game to mess with my head so hecan find a way to get me to cave?
These questions swirl inside of me and the contentment offeeling connected leaves and is refueled by confusion and anger.
Inhaling deeply once, I push against his chest, “You have togo.”
Cayden steps back, the loss of him feels like a punch, but Ifocus on cleaning up and trying to appear like I didn’t just get fucked in myoffice.
“Hadley?”
“Get dressed and go, please.”
He grips my arm as I start to walk away, knowing I have tospray perfume or something to get rid of the sex smell that lingers in here.
I look at the hand and then his face. “Let go of me.”
He drops his grip immediately. “What is happening here?”
“You tell me.”
“Well, from my perspective, we had incredible sex—again—andI have no idea what I did wrong. Why are you pushing me away?”
I am an intelligent girl. I have spent years learning tofocus on being rational and communicating because half of what my job is just that.I have to keep emotions at bay and be logical. Right now, yeah, that’s gone.
There are nothing but emotions swimming around me and I’mnot quite sure which one is going to exit my mouth now.
It could be the needy girl, who wants to ask him to hold me.
It could be the sad part of me, who needs reassurance that thisisn’t just fucking.
It could be the angry girl, who believes I’m being used fora case.
Or it could be the stupid one, who asks him to come overlater since Melanie is gone for a week and we do this all over again.
Please don’t be the stupid one.
“Because I don’t know what the hell we’re doing. Why now?Why are you suddenly in my office at eleven in the morning and screwing meagainst my desk? Why did you come to my apartment the other day or the stables?Why now, Cayden?”
He runs his fingers through his dark brown hair. “I didn’teven mean to come here today.”
My heart falls to the pit of my stomach. “Right.”
That’s the only word I’m able to mutter.
