I smile. “I see your point.”
“Good.”
“Do you see mine?”
She drops her hand and turns to move back into my arms. “I do, but right now, I just want to enjoy your safe place for a bit.”
I’d let her enjoy anything she wants.
I tighten my grip, holding her close, wishing we could have more, have everything.
Tessa makes me feel more than I’ve ever felt before. She makes me want things that I haven’t thought about in forever.
Forever.
That word.
That promise of things I can’t have because this is all we’ll have.
A blip in time, one that will make us someday sit back and think of the fun we had, but it had to end.
Like a fucking song that breaks your heart at the end.
“You can use as much time as you like.” I kiss her temple and rest my head against hers, giving her a safe place, even if it can’t last.
seventeen
Tessa
I’m lying on my bed as my phone rings and dread fills me when I see the name.
I’ve tried to avoid my mother. I’ve done a fairly good job of it, keeping it to mostly texts and explaining how busy I am, but it seems my avoidance isn’t going to hold up since this is the third call today.
I steel myself, knowing that the tirade will surely come, and swipe the phone. “Hi, Mom.”
“Tessa? Is that you?”
Let the gaslighting and manipulation begin.
“Yes, I’m very sorry I missed your calls earlier.”
“Oh, I just didn’t know if you had my number still. I haven’t heard your voice in weeks.”
My eyes close, and I start to count in my head, hoping it’ll calm me. It does slightly. Although, for as high as I’d need to get, it would take the rest of the day to fully erase my feelings toward her.
“How are you feeling?” I change the topic. There’s no way to appease her—might as well let her complain.
“Terrible,” she says, letting out a heavy sigh. “The water heater broke, or at least I think it did. Reece said it was fine,but your brother is lazy at best. I think you’re going to need to replace it or have someone come out who can fix it, and not with duct tape and bubble gum.”
I want to laugh because of course I need to do it.
“I’m sorry that’s happening, Mom, but I’ve sent all that I can this month.”
“What do you want me to do then?”
Get off your ass and go back to work.
I don’t say it because, that would be a horrific argument that we would never recover from.
