“Tessa,” his voice cracks as he pushes deeper. “Fuck, you…it’s…you’re perfect.”
Only with him.
Killian thrusts his hips forward until they slam against mine and I nearly cry in ecstasy.
He pushes up onto his hands, staring down at me. “You feel so good.”
I inhale harshly. “Please.”
“Please what?”
Please make love to me. Please don’t make me say it. Please God make my heart stop feeling this way.
Instead of saying any of that, I rest my hand on his cheek. “Take my thoughts away.”
He moves then, in and out, slow and steady. As though there’s nothing but time for this. I don’t know how long he makes love to me because all I see is him. My orgasm hits me so hard, so suddenly that I cry out over and over. One minute it was building and then, watching him watch me sent me spiraling.
This is not sex.
This isn’t just two people who can’t seem to control their sexual attraction.
This is a joining. Two people who are saying more with their bodies than they can with their mouths.
Because I can’t put words to this.
It will shatter my very carefully constructed understanding of what we’re doing. So I lift myself up, holding on to him so I can’t see his beautiful face, think about this change. I wrap my legsaround his hips, ensuring that he can’t see the stupid tears that are filling my gaze.
Killian isn’t for keeping or loving and yet—my heart is becoming his a little more each day.
I look forward to being around him, our horse rides, the movie nights, the way he kisses my neck when I wash dishes after he cooks for us.
I want to stay here with him.
I want a life like this, one that we build together.
He has stolen my heart, and if I leave, it’ll break me.
“Tessa, angel, I’m close. Do you want me to stop?”
I hold him tighter. If this is all I can have, I want all the memories I can get to torture myself. “No, please.”
I release my hold around his neck, wanting to watch him. Killian takes my hands, pulling them over my head with our fingers entwined.
I watch him as he stares down at me, his hips bucking, and then he practically roars his release. The sound cuts through me, and he collapses on top of me.
He struggles to catch his breath, still buried deep. “That was incredible,” he says between breaths.
“It was.”
“Let me clean you up,” Killian says as he pulls out and heads into my bathroom.
I lie here, waiting for a towel, questioning my life choices.
He returns and I head into the bathroom to finish.
What am I thinking? I can’t do this. I can’t make love to him. There is no love to be had.
This was a huge mistake. I have to rebuild that wall that was made of straw and use some freaking bricks this time.
