“Hey, are you okay?” Chat appeared next to her, standing at the table.
Danika blinked, her mouth dropping open. “Your, here.” She felt faint as she held his phone out to him, shoving it away.
“Oh, damn, thanks.” He reached out, his ears blushing. Had he seen her? Did he know what she’d seen? “I should probably take this. Do you mind?”
Danika forced a weak smile. As soon as he left, she flagged the waiter and asked for another glass of wine—a half carafe, actually. Chat always wanted to drive her car. This time, she would let him.
By the time they got home, the boys were watching a movie.Of course, Danika thought, incensed as she stared into the TV’s snowy Arendelle. Bill always sought the easy way out. She didn’t have it in her to say something, though. Her mind was too pickled with Riesling and consumed with thoughts of Chat and Augie, all those words. She felt incredibly off—incrediblyhurt. She was simultaneously angry at Chat for blatantly lying yet also wanted him closer to her than ever.
On the drive home, Chat had asked what was wrong. She’d swatted it away, but now, as she went to the fridge and poured another glass of wine, she had to face it. If that girl was going to try to seduce him, Danika needed to at least know he’d stay loyal to her. That he cared about her. That their friendship and bond were real. She wouldn’t be able to handle it otherwise. She’d be, once more, alone.
“Ah, this is the best part.” Chat nudged Cooper over on the couch as Olaf started in on his song about summer. Danika sensed that Chat was about to snuggle up with the boys, and then her chance would be over. She stepped forward.
“Hey, Chat,” she said as he leaned back. “Can we talk for a second?”
Chat paused, sat up. “Sure.”
“Let’s go to the patio.” She held her wine tight and turned on her heels.
Danika didn’t know what she was going to say as they headed toward the enclosed patio, settling into the low armchairs, the sun streaming through the glass around them, lighting up the pale blue cushions and rounded glass coffee table. She stared at the arrangement of white tulips in the center. She bit a piece of chapped skin from her lips.
“Look, Chat.” Danika’s mind sputtered. She focused on a single tulip. She truly did not know where she was going with this, but she plowed forward anyway, some subconscious, desperate part of her taking control. “I wanted to thank you for coming with me today. I know furniture shopping is not your most favorite activity.”
“No, it was great, I—”
“No, I know, I’m not crazy,” she cut him off. “So really, I appreciate it. I also appreciate your driving home. I’m sorry that I drank, am drinking, a bit more than usual today.” She winced as she sloshed the wine in her glass, feeling raw and exposed but maniacally thrilled by it all.
“Don’t be sorry.” Chat jiggled his legs. “It’s a Saturday. You can do whatever you want. No judgment. Have fun.”
Danika took a more confident sip, happy to be a passenger in her own mind.
“I especially appreciate it because, well, I don’t want to put you in a weird spot, or overshare,” she said, knowing on some level that was exactly what she was doing, “but today is a tough day for me. Today is sixteen years since my father killed himself.”
Chat’s legs slowed to a stop.
“And it’s so bizarre, because I was sixteen at the time, and it’s been another sixteen years since, which means that day is now the exact midpoint of my life. I feel so strange, like from now on, I’ll be further away from him than ever.” This was the first time Danika had putthese feelings together, the first time she’d found the right words. Even if the anniversary of his death wasn’t until the following Tuesday, July eighteenth, everything else was true and newly clear in her mind.
“Mrs. Crawley.” Chat scooted forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Danika.” His eye contact was so heavy, she had to blink. “I’m so sorry.”
Danika felt blood rush to her face. She’d never heard him say her first name before—his voice sounded just the same, an echo of the past. Danika picked up her glass, her arm shaking.
“Thank you. It was a long time ago, obviously, but it’s still a tough day. Even more so because—you won’t believe it; I still can’t—but it’s also the same date that I officially got divorced from my first husband, signed the papers.” She raised her eyebrows and took another sip. This was true of the real anniversary, but not today. “Ironic, right? Not exactly my best day.” She almost told him this was why she hated the number eighteen but caught herself at the last minute, remembering today was only the fifteenth.
Danika went quiet. Then, she laughed out loud, shaking her head—at her heartbreak, at her reckless admission.What am I doing?she suddenly thought, sobering. She hadn’t meant to share this. She really had not. She was fully out of control now, some inner demon reaching out its arms to pull Chat closer—closer to her secrets and truest self.
“It’s a lot of loss. A tough day, week, month, really.” She slipped out a breath and batted her hand in the air, trying to backtrack.
“Danika,” Chat repeated. He reached one hand out to her knee. She stared down at his fingers. It turned silent as a low heat settled in the base of her stomach.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you all this,” Danika whispered.She continued clutching her glass as she stared at Chat’s hand on her leg. She felt the pressure of each of his individual fingers, as if his fingerprints were burning through her jeans into her skin, making her his.
“It’s okay.” He squeezed her knee with his whole hand as he looked up at her, his head tilted to the side as if she were a hurt child.
“But, Chat, you have to promise me,” she said slowly, “not to tell Bill.”
“What?” To Danika’s dismay, Chat dropped his hand.
“Bill,” she repeated, talking faster. “He cannot know about the divorce, that I was married before. It’s a long story, but he’d loathe me if he knew.” Her panic was peaking now—because it was true. This was why she had not mentioned her divorce to a soul in Aldon Lakes. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me.” She smoothed her hair solemnly. “I shouldn’t be putting this on you. It’s just,this day. But I do need you to promise me. You know how religious Bill is. I know it seems dramatic, but it would be a mess.”
