He took another deep breath, letting it out slowly.
“If I loved you less, I could talk about it more.”
I knew that one. Mr. Knightley to Emma.
I was so busy being proud of myself for remembering the quote that it took me a second to hear what he was saying.
Theo swallowed. “I love you,” he said, voice breaking. “Always have. From that first day. That wasn’t... I wasn’t making it up, when I told Delilah. And when I kissed you, the first time, all those years ago, it wasn’t for any reason other than that I wanted to. And then you pushed me away, so I just... never said anything. I thought we were forgetting it. So when you said what happens in Montauk...”
Oh, Theo.
I reached out, putting both of my hands on Theo’s face. “I kind of meant the short tempers and frayed nerves. And I wanted you to know that I wouldn’t be weird about the whole... fake boyfriends thing when we got home. Which it turns out was optimistic of me, but I’ve never claimed to be perfect.”
“Youareperfect,” Theo murmured. His face was turned down, cheek pressed into my palm, so when he looked at me, it was from under his lashes.
It took a lot not to end this conversation by kissing him again, but I knew we had to have the rest of it.
It was just occurring to me that all my dreams were coming true right now. Even if they were doing it awkwardly.
Most of my life had been a little awkward, so that felt right.
“I’m not,” I said. “You just think that.”
“Because I love you,” Theo said, turning his face back up to meet my eyes. “I love you, Simon. You’re perfect to me.”
Tears pricked at my eyes, welling up along my lashes.
“And I don’t want anyone more glamorous or… whatever you think,” Theo added. “Everyone I’ve dated since we met… they had to be amazing, because they were competing withyou. And none of them even came close. Don’t—” He stopped me again.
“Don’t say whatever you were about to. They never came close because they weren’t you. They didn’t have your kindness or your warmth and none of them were as smart as you are, and I do think you’re hot, by the way, but more importantly they weren’t patient with me. No one’s ever been patient with me like you are. And I can see now that’s because, I mean, firstly you’reone of a kind and the best person in the whole world. But also, it’s because you loved me. The whole time. Right?”
I wasn’t sure I’d ever heard Theo say that many words at once before in our lives.
“Right,” I agreed, a little dazed, still catching up with everything he’d said. “Like I said. From the moment I saw you’d kept the note. I didn’tknow, then. But that was when it happened.”
Theo broke into one of the broad, brilliant smiles I’d never seen him give anyone else. My smile.
I stopped resisting the urge to kiss him, bringing our mouths together a lot more carefully this time. He sighed as soon as our lips touched, melting against me until we were pressed together knees to chests, my hands still on his face.
I felt as though I was holding the whole world between them.
“I love you,” Theo murmured against my lips. “I love you, I love you, I love. Youaremy plus one, but not because it’s convenient. Because I can’t imagine wanting to be with anyone else. Wherever I am, I’m always going to want you to be there with me.”
Tears stung at my eyes. What was there to say to that, other than…
“I always will be.”
A throat cleared further down the hall.
Heat rising up the back of my neck, I glanced away from Theo just in time to see Dad setting the coat rack upright again.
Theo’s face was burning hot under my hands, but I didn’t take them away. I wasn’t letting go of him until I absolutely had to.
“Hello, Theo.” Dad nodded to him. “I’ll set another place for dinner?”
Theo broke into a grin. It wasn’t quite the same asmysmile, but it was beautiful, too. He looked at me. I nodded.
“I’d like that,” he said, burying his face shyly in my palm. “Thank you.”
