Love you for that, more than anything else about you.
“I wasn’t doing it to hurt you,” Simon murmured, ducking his head to catch my gaze again. I’d looked away without meaning to.
“I know.”
Simon had never in his life done anything intending to hurt me. I wasn’t sure I could be convinced he’d ever done anything with the intention of hurting anyone, even if he said so himself. That just wasn’thim.
“That doesn’t make you not hurt,” he said.
I swallowed again. That… I hadn’t really thought about it.
“You reacted like you did because you were hurt,” Simon insisted.
I frowned down at the case in my hands, noticing for the first time that some of the frogs had hearts in their eyes.
He must have been right. That only made sense.
It was just that as soon as I’d realized I hurt him, I hadn’t been thinking about myself anymore. IknewI hurt people. I knew I was too much, too needy, too clingy. I’d heard it often enough.
All I’d ever wanted was for someone to let me climb into their ribcage and stay there, and tell me every twenty minutes or so that they loved me and wanted me to stay exactly where I was forever.
This was, I’d discovered over the past decade or so, too much to ask.
Except with Simon, who always made space for me. Who’d drop everything to be around me whenever I so much as hinted I wanted that.
I tried so hard not to take advantage, but I’d never figured out how to be less unbearably needy. Especially when it came to him, becausehisribcage was my first choice of permanent home.
“Maybe?” I eventually responded after a slightly too long pause, looking up again.
Simon’s lips twitched into a kinder smile than I deserved.
“I’m not saying it was reasonable,” he said, eyes glittering. He was teasing me.
Which probably meant we were okay? Maybe?
“No one’s ever accused me of being reasonable,” I said, the tension in my gut starting to uncoil.
Simon laughed. I let my eyes fall closed for just a second so the sound could wash over me. I loved hearing him laugh.
“That’s part of your charm,” he said. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
I shook my head. “I deserved it.”
“You didn’t,” Simon said. “To be clear, I didn’t deserve you snapping at me, either. Neither of us deserved any of that. So. I’m sorry for my part in it.”
“You don’t need?—”
“I do,” Simon interrupted me. “I do need to apologize. We both do. We’ve done that now. We can forget about it,” he said. “I know how stressful being around your family is for you. I know how stressful it is forme. Think we could agree that whatever happens in Montauk stays in Montauk?”
“We’re in Amagansett,” I said before I could stop myself. I wasn’t trying to be a smartass, I just couldn’t help it.
“The Hamptons, then,” Simon said, smiling wryly at me. “Seriously. This place is cursed. We get through this weekend and then we forget all of it. Everything that happens here, whatever that is. Okay?”
I nodded. I wasn’t sure Icouldforget, but I appreciated what Simon was offering. Things could go back to the way they had been before we came here when we got home. It’d be as though we’d never pretended to be dating.
It’d be as though I’d never known what it was like to be Simon’s boyfriend. Maybe I wouldn’t even have to ache with missing it. Or at least, wouldn’t have to worry about things being awkward.
“Okay,” I agreed, letting out a breath I hadn’t intended to hold.
