I watch as Cas turns on a Christmas movie, then walks across the room to flip on a fireplace I didn’t notice earlier. It looks cozy, off to the corner with its own sitting area. Cas’s bedroom is nice. It’s very him. I didn’t expect his place to be this big when he said it was smaller than my house.
He slinks off to the shower with one last look over his shoulder at me. It’s a look I don’t think I was supposed to see. For a moment, his mask of confidence slips, and he looks at me with so much vulnerability and emotion on his face. I finally see past all his confidence. Beneath it all is a man who’s utterly obsessed with me and all my chaos.
The final wall I built between us comes crumbling down.
I want nothing more than for Cas to look at me like this every day for the rest of my life. I suck in my breath and hold it.
I think Cas Wilder is in love with me. But what’s even more terrifying is the fact that I think I might be in love with him too.
I’m not ready to be in love again, or maybe it doesn’t work that way. What if I don’t have a choice because my heart’s already decided? I yawn, turning the thoughts over in my head.
The water starts running, and no matter how hard I try to keep my eyes open, I fail. Cas slips into bed a short time later, pulling me close until he’s cradling my body against his. I canfeel the faint tickle of his beard as he nuzzles against my neck and shoulder, planting soft kisses before whispering in my ear, “Good night, Vivienne.”
Lying in his arms feels good. It feels right.
Soon I fall into a deep, restful sleep. The kind of sleep I’ve been chasing for months because I was trying to stop something inevitable with him. I should’ve known it would be impossible.
Chapter thirty
There can’t possibly be anything better than waking up to my girl tangled together with me in my bed. It’s my new favorite place. I marvel at her while she sleeps as my fingers trace over her body. She looks so peaceful, like she hasn’t slept this good since the last night we spent together. Maybe it’s because I know she hasn’t and neither have I. There were so many times I almost left the tour to hop on a plane back to Denver. So many times I fought with myself and almost gave in. She was worth the wait. This was worth it. No matter how much I hate it, I have to accept that Vivienne needed space and time to process everything. I hold her while she sleeps, dreaming up our future and planning all the things I want to spend the next few days doing. We snuggle like this for at least another hour, until she stirs.
Vivienne rolls over to face me. “Are we snowed in?” she whispers.
“I don’t think so,” I answer.
“Did you look?”
“Did I look? No, I don’t have to. The sun’s peeking in through the blinds, and earlier I heard the trash truck. The city is definitely awake and moving. Looking must be a Colorado thing,” I tease.
She ignores me, then throws the blankets off herself and pads over to where the curtains hang, blocking her view. She cautiously pulls them back. “Oh my gosh. This is a door. You have a whole rooftop patio.”
I cup my morning wood with one hand, following her to the french doors. When I slide in behind her, I wrap my free hand around her waist, and lean in to whisper, “Maybe next time it snows we can go skinny-dipping in the hot tub.”
Blush heats her cheeks. She gulps against my cheek. “Do you like that idea?” I rasp.
She nods her head. “Words, Vivienne.” My voice a low growl.
“Yes,” she answers.
“Why?” For some reason, I want to hear her say something, anything, about why she wants to be with me.
“I’ve never done that before.” Her confession is soft, embarrassed almost.
I don’t want to make her feel inadequate, and I can sense her discomfort as she shifts her weight, waiting for my reply. Her ass cheek grazes against the hand cupping my dick when she moves, stealing my focus.
Once I recover, I bring my lips against her ear again, dropping my voice, husky and low. “What makes you want to experience it with me?”
My question catches her breath, stealing it from her. Against me, she stiffens and her pulse races. Slowly she turns to face me, giving me a long, hard stare before answering. “Because life with you is the adventure I didn’t know I needed.” Her hand lands against my chest, then trails down, caressing my abs, leaving a burning desire for her in its wake.
My other hand instinctively drops to join the other. The movement catches her attention, and her gaze falls with it. Laughing, she sidesteps. “Go pee. I promise I’ll still be here when you come back.”
I nod sheepishly, taking myself to the bathroom.
When I return, Vivienne is right where I left her, perched on the edge of my bed. “You don’t happen to have a pair of winter boots in your luggage, do you?” I ask.
Vivienne laughs. “Yeah Cas, I totally packed snow boots for my trip to Florida.”
“Well, get dressed and we’ll have to get you some after breakfast.” I shrug.
