“I’ll be out in a minute.” I choke out, trying my best to hide my sobs.
She doesn’t accept it though and somehow unlocks the bathroom door and comes in. “How did you do that?” I ask as I look at the opposite door that leads to Axe’s room.
“I’m a hood kid, remember?” I roll my eyes at her defense. She did come up off the streets, but now she made more money in one day than I do in a year.
“Sometimes, privacy is a good thing.”
She hands me a tissue and squats in front of me. “Clean this mess up.” She says and refers to my face and the ugly cry she interrupted.
I take the tissue and stand, looking at the mess she referred to. I have mascara streaks down my cheeks and a puffy red nose. “Great, now he will know I’m upset.” I take a deep breath and look to the door that leads to my big brothers’ nosy ass.
“Calvin isn’t as dumb as he plays it, Mya. He’s not the sensitive type. He says what he wants then waits to see the outcome and goes from there.”
I laugh knowing she is right. When he found her at the Aloha house a few years ago, she needed help in a big way and Cal never sugar coated her errors.
“It took forever for Sam and Cal to become close friends. I don’t want to be another reason they butt heads.” I look to the door when I hear Cal calling to me.
“My, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were still with the feels. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I open the door and look at him, cringing from the look on his face at seeing the mess I am. “Jesus, he didn’t die.”
I smack his arm and walk passed him and down the stairs as Lex lectures him.
“Do you know how to be a nice big brother? You drop a bomb like that then make her feel worse because she looks like shit right now.”
I stop at the bottom of the stairs and look back at them both. “Neither of you are good at this. You both suck.”
They look at me confused as if they both thought they were helping. Luckily my sister-in-law saved me. “Come with me sweetie.” Jen says and sends a deadly glare to Cal and Lex.
I follow her to the garage as it’s the closest private place to chat and she dives right in. “Look, I saw him the day he came home. I picked him up.” She puts her hand up to stop my near interruption at hearing she’s known and has even seen him.
“It wasn’t the same Sam, Mya. He looks different and he’s a different kind of quiet now.”
This peaks my curiosity. “Looks different how?”
“Bigger, like a lot bigger and he has hair and a beard. He said he refused to pay fifteen dollars to shave his head once a week. I don’t know, one way to fight the prison system and the way they charge for everything? I don’t know, he was ranting.”
“I can’t even picture him with hair and a beard.” I say quietly. I remember everything about Sam, have seen and touched every part of his body. Hearing Jen tell me how he has changed hurts so much. I cherished my memories and I just learned I was remembering someone else.
“It was a trip.” Jen smiles and brushes some tear-soaked hair from my eyes. “He’s changed, there’s a composed side to him now. I don’t even know if that’s the right word. He doesn’t have that sadness that he wore like a suit. He seems resolved…quiet.”
I try to think of him without that blanket of sadness… I wish I could see it. Now I can only imagine how beautiful it must be to see a resolved, healed Sam.
I don’t want to ask this next question, but there is now way I can’t. “Did he ask about me?”
I know the answer when she looks away. I nod and wipe more tears from my eyes. I feel her arms as she hugs me to her side. “I don’t think he would honey. He seemed almost nervous and talk was small. I know that Noah and Cal want to talk to him tonight.”
“Oh my God, Jen. Do not let Cal ask him about me. Please.” I feel sick at the thought he would tell my brother I am old news. Noah would be understanding about it and accept it. Cal, I think would try to defend my honor, the dumb shit.
“Can I say something?” She asks me and it isn’t Jens style. Since marrying my brother, she has become as nosey as him.
“Go ahead.” I say and turn to see Lex come back in the room.
“Sorry for how I acted.” She says and kisses my cheek before looking to Jen with a sad smile.
“That’s what I want to talk to you about.” Jen says and looks to Lex. “Do you think it’s bad she is upset? I don’t. I would be pissed as well; I was pissed every time Cal screwed me over. It almost took me too long to fight for him, but I am glad I did.”
I look at her with shock. “Are you honestly telling me to fight for the guy who dumped me in a letter?”
