Chapter Nineteen
Wake me up, when this is over
I’m tired of living life like it’s a dream
Please wake me up, when it’s all over
I’m tired of living right here in between
I refuse
Sully
“I have bail set up for you and Noah is working on it now, so you should be released within the hour.”
“That was fast. What did the judge set it at?”
“Fifteen thousand. Court is scheduled for two weeks from today, but we need to discuss the charges and what could be pending.”
“He is still alive?” I ask, curious even though I could care less.
“For now, yes, but his condition could change at any minute. You need to practice the ‘I feel awful’ sentiment and make it believable,” She raises an eyebrow at me as she says it knowing I don’t feel shit.
“I’m supposed to show remorse and you all are insane if you think I would swallow my pride for that. I never had an intention of fatally harming anyone, but if he dies, he dies.”
“I don’t feel for Mr. Tenpenner. I am a defense attorney, but those I defend make me sick. I don’t pretend to be a martyr, I do this for the money. I sleep perfectly fine with that. All of that having been said, I find it refreshing to defend you than another Tenpenner.”
Her words make me sick. She is made from the same cloth of the putrid baby killers like Tenpenner. I sit the remainder of the meeting, which helps nothing. I have nothing to say to her and I just want out to find representation that wants to defend my actions, not excuse them.
Noah is standing beside my truck with Mya, who runs to me and pulls me close. “Breathe, Pet. It was just one day.”
It felt like forever in such short time. It makes me wonder how the hell I am supposed to live without her for possibly fifteen years. It’s terrifying if I look at it that way.
The ride to her house was mostly quiet as she held my hand, her thumb stroking the top. I get inside and all I can think of is a shower. Jail is disgusting.
“I need to shower, Pet.”
“Okay, you know where it is,” She says softly, looking lost. I try not to push her. She is working something out, maybe how to tell me goodbye. I won’t push though. I let the water fall over me trying to wash away the nightmare, but it won’t.
“Sam?” She calls to me softly and she sounds like she’s crying. I open the shower door to see her crying, but the look in her eyes says fear. She’s not leaving me.
“Come here,” I say, and pull her close letting the water fall between us even though she is fully clothed.
“I am so scared Sam,” she bites her lips as I peel her shirt from soaked skin.
“Of what?”
“What if he dies?” she says, what I want to pretend I didn’t hear. The last thing I need right now is thoughts of him.
“So be it.” I cup her face in my hands and plead with her to understand. “I understand you want to move on and have everything go perfectly according to the law. What I did, was the best thing for the world. He is evil and it will never change. A split second of thinking should I really be attacking him never once entered my head.”
She takes a step back and looks at me with pure shock. “You want him to die.” It isn’t a question. She knows she is right.
I turn the shower off and reach for a towel, but say nothing. Hearing me say it won’t make it any less true. I do hope he dies. I haven’t come to terms with that and I honestly don’t care if I ever do.
“So, he dies, and you get sent prison. Sounds worth it.” She smacks her hands on her wet jeans in anger. “We finally have a shot at being together and you fucking kill a man!”
I turn on her and am in her face, too far for even my comfort as I spit my words out. “He isn’t a man, he is a pedophilic serial killer. He destroyed my life and Deja’s, let alone a future for Kace, and all the others he killed. He is pure evil and not worthy of your concern for his next breath,” I step back but, my angry eyes remain locked to hers. “Want the truth, Pet? I hope he fucking chokes slowly on his last breath. I hope he is terrified knowing he cannot breathe and that it is my face he sees before he dies. That is the fucking truth!”
