I take my jacket off and remove my shirt and set it on the side of the bed. I get her jeans off, then her top. I want to go on record that none of this turned me on, comatose isn’t sexy. I left her bra on and slid her arms through my shirt before tucking her in.
I made sure to put some painkillers and a large bottle of water on the side of her bed, and turned her bathroom light on. She seemed to be sleeping sound, but I watched for just a minute or two as her breathing stayed even and sweet.
I wanted nothing more than to climb in beside her and curl into her side, just in case that fucker did dose her with something. I decide then that I should stay, just in case. I know I am reaching for a reason, but there it is. I slip in the other side of her bed and lay still on my back. I want to touch her, to feel her hair fanned out over my chest.
Like every minute lately, I think of her being in my life. I think of her learning of Kace and this hope fills me up, that she wouldn’t hate me for it all. The truth is, there is no darkness with Mya. She is this perfection that I draw, but can’t be real. If she really is this special then I would damn myself to hell for touching her, tainting her.
I want so badly to be good for her. To not be the father who didn’t protect his daughter, or the husband that loved his wife enough to keep her from straying. I am neither. I failed at fatherhood and I failed at love. Mya doesn’t deserve me interfering with her life and I don’t deserve her wanting me to.
I lay there unable to fully sleep. I wake up around five in the morning to her laying on my chest, her breath against my bare chest. I am rock hard and want to roll her over and slip inside of her like a thief, and take her and make her mine. I stroke my hand down her back gently, the smell of her hair smothering me. Fuck, this is dangerous. My hand is too damn close to her ass and I want to squeeze it.
I feel like a creep and fight to get out from under her without waking her. I see she got up at some point and took the painkillers and drank most the water, so I knew she was okay. I had a session at seven in the morning, so I wanted to get home and shower the memory off of me before it destroys me. I kissed her lightly on the lips before locking her door behind me and headed home.
