I chuckle a little at that.
Me: Yeah, oh.
Mya: So, was that a real kiss then? Did you wave the white flag finally?
That is how dumb mother fuckers like me get their asses in trouble. Walked right into that one.
Me: No… that was me losing my damn mind.
I know it is chicken shit to not own it knowing that Cal doesn’t care, but I am too fucked up.
“You okay?” Noah asks from behind me, and I turn to see it is Cal and Noah.
I nod, turning to look at the bay again. I feel my phone buzz and hang my head.
Mya: Then it’s fair because you make me lose mine.
“Why don’t we go check that cemetery out tonight and then we can go catch a drink at ‘The Sue’?” Noah asks, as he lights a Camel.
“I wanna tag along too,” Cal says, and I turn to look at him shocked that he would want that.
“Why the fuck would you? You have two healthy, happy, perfect kids, and this is depressing as fuck.” I blow out the smoke from my cigarillo and flick it to the ashtray.
“Because you need more than Noah on your side.” Cal steps toward me and folds his arms. “I don’t pretend to know your situation. I can’t stand knowing one of mine was hurt like that, but you are family to us. I know you care for my sister. I know she isn’t a toy to you, but nothing will come from it if you don’t start to heal.”
I had heard from Jen and the guys that Cal had become the master of understanding emotions, but it is now that I am seeing it.
“I know…” I say, letting the words trail off quietly.
“I’m not saying all our situations are the same, but bro, we have all faced some tough shit in our days. Mine was lying in a bed maybe dying knowing she was gone,” Noah says, and he refers to his beloved, Candey, he lost four years before.
“Mine was too. That night Jen was attacked? I lost my shit in a glorious way that almost killed me and my career.” Cal states pointedly. “That same night started this thing with Mya. When you held her crying in the waiting room all night.”
I had forgotten about that. Last year, Cal was fighting off the guy who attacked Jen. He was stabbed and his hand was crushed. I had been there and followed to the hospital. When I saw Mya crying alone in one of the chairs, all I could do was comfort her and hold her while she fell apart.
Maybe... fuck, maybe it did start there.
“I’m down to go tonight, and maybe you guys can help me figure this memorial thing out together?” I hate asking for help, but these are the guys to ask.
“You gotta tell Mya if you decide you want to see where things go with her. I am pretty sure she thinks Kace is your girlfriend,” Noah says with an uncomfortable shiver.
“I just texted her and told her. Not that Kace is my daughter, but that the memorial she heard us talking about was for Kace.”
I look at Cal pointedly. “I will tell her…I just want to fucking puke when I relive it.”
He nods, but says nothing. He gets it. Who doesn’t get it? It’s hell.
“Well, let’s get going. Ral rescheduled your last appointment for tomorrow when you passed out,” Noah says as we walk down from the roof.
“I’m gonna call Jen. Let her know the plan and we can head.”
“You driving?” I yell, knowing this mother fucker drove his Lamborghini.
“Hell no! Noah has theCuda.” He yells back, and Noah shrugs his shoulders.
“It’s aCudaHemi, bro. Nothing compares.
I laugh knowing he might be kind of right, but still it’s a Lambo. Axe, Cal’s son, is obsessed with the Lambo and I side with him.
