We all shrug, because as much as Raleigh jokes and teases where Noah is concerned, he would die for him and is grateful that he finally has a support system he can count on.
The lights dim and Cassa starts screaming over everyone and we all look to the stage when Lexington comes over the PA system telling us about writing this song and the devotion to which Cal put in to it.
"Cal is a composer and a brilliant one, but this song was written and composed by him. This is so personal to him and the process in writing this was not easy on him. I hope that when you see this performance and the many talents of Cal, that you will understand the depth he went to create this. We have a surprise guest as well for back up on this and no denying you'll feel their presence too and the never-ending support they provided in the creation of this song. Without further ado, Cal Dorian on Piano, Guitar and Vocals inMy Journal."
We all, the audience included stand and applaud as he takes the stage. I am desperate to focus on every word he sings here, wondering if this is the one he said I inspired. So many songs so far seem to be his way of coming out of the disaster she left him in but based on the enthusiasm of the girls and the fact TAT's remaining members are missing... I think it is and I am all nerves.
He comes out looking like himself. He is no longer wearing the blue button upArmaniand jeans. Now he is dressed more like himself in a hoodie and jeans with his old black chucks. He has his Les Paul slung over his back and a headset mic and makes for his seat at the piano, looking directly at me and winks before he seats and places his focus on the final song.
The pianos are set back to back directing the audience and I wait to see Lexington take a seat at the other, but instead she stands and leans against the two where they connect.
Then all thought fades away when the lights go out completely.
Everyone in the bar explodes in cheers. Lighters and cell phone screens providing the light for all of fifteen seconds.
The minute the piano starts, the light comes down on Lex and Cal and her beautiful voices captivates all of us.
The song is slow and haunting as she sings in beautiful agony about her broken heart and how she wants so bad to feel something new and let the painful past go.
But, then... I hear Cal's voice as he sings about the awful pain of losing this woman; how the loneliness is draining him and he is desperate for relief from that pain. He keeps that same haunting melody as he sings and I am blown away at the pain in his voice and the beauty of this talent he hides.
Suddenly there is more of that beat that Lex hones and drums though you can’t see them, but they are there. They sing the chorus together, desperate for the longing they feel to be recognized and it hits me. I know that is why she announced this song. This isthesong and it is for me.
This entire show was never about Tayla, but me and how he came to love me.
He fucking loves me.
I smile seeing Tayla dab tears in her eyes knowing she is wrong, so very wrong. He is mine and this is him proving it once and for all.
By the end of the chorus that electronic beat is like a heartbeat as he continues to play, and starts the next verse and sings alone. There’s no hiding the emotion he gives in this or its effect on me.
Ral, Carrie, Cassa and Bright all come around me as I feel every word and wish I could see his face. I need to see his face so I know I am right.
I need to be right.
He sings about being lost and demanding he is heard, then everything they have built changes, explodes and becomes an all-encompassing power when he rises from the piano and lays into his guitar with everything in him and all his talent at once. Everyone is screaming and clapping when the stage lights up at seeing TAT on the stage.
Noah is playing the piano, taking over for Cal as he stood to play the guitar and starting belting out the chorus side by side with Lexington. Shame is on the drums, making it all too real as he beats the hell out of the orchestral drums, honing in the power he has and still keeps it soft. Chad beside him on a double bass.
The entire performance and the song itself was mastered to be powerful from beginning to end.
And then he truly blew me away and brought me to my knees when he started to rap. It wasn’t hip hop rap, but it wasn’t the Beastie boys either. It was as if his words were coming faster than he could ponder to sing and he needed them out there and heard. It was unique and his eyes were on me.
Every single word meant for me. I was captivated when he walked toward me telling me he was nothing without me, couldn’t keep being without me and the loneliness suffocating him.
Lex's voice breaking through in her soulful way as he stood before me, silence from him as she finished singing the chorus with nothing but that haunting piano played perfectly by Noah.
Then he sets his guitar down gently on the stand beside his piano and comes to me as he raps the final verse before pulling me to him and kissing me in front of everyone.
In front of Tayla.
Then and there in front of industry reps, fans and family he made it clear I am his and would always be.
The lights went out as the crowd went ape shit, and I fell into him and held him and tried to fix everything we had broken.
No fight left in me. Whatever I was fighting against changed the minute I knew that he put everything in the work with Lex.
