“I don’t know, I guess we see shows from the side now. I don’t know why, it’s just better.” He shrugs, and I get it. He’s this rich sexy guitar guy that can always be at the side stage to see it up close. I just wish I could see the guy who used to come to the nose bleed lawn seats and party with us when we were teens and in our early twenties before fame changed him.
“No, it isn’t. I have been on both sides. The side stage is loud and awesome and personal sure, but to watch on the big screen from up high on the hill, the smell of weed and cigarettes in the air and thousands of fans singing along, drinking and spilling their beer, all while your feet vibrate to the song and you can’t help but dance? That’s the magic Caly, that’s what you used to love.”
I see the recognition of the memory on his face and I don’t know if he really gets it or if he is just humoring me, but I think he could remember if he took his ego down a few notches.
“I remember getting way too excited for TOOL.” He says and laughs, moving from the door once I have my The Fixx t-shirt on and tie my blue and black plaid flannel around my waist. “I was bouncing off the walls to the point my dad told me to leave.” He laughs and plays with my key ring. “I went to Shames house and we stole Jerry’s beer and got a damn good pregame buzz before we left.”
I sit beside him on the bed and lace my old blue Chuck Taylor’s. “See, that feeling. You need to get that back Cal, because Old school Cal who I obsessed over in High school would kick Rockstar Cal’s ass for being such a douchebag.”
I go to stand but he grabs me by the waist and pulls me until I am on the bed and he rolls until he is over me. “He would, would he?”
I nod and let him kiss me sweet on the lips, upsetting how quickly it was over. “Can I tag along? Go down memory lane with you there with me?”
My heart races and I start breathing fast, because in that there was the sweetest tone…promising and I won’t deny how much I love the idea of him coming with me. “Do you promise to leave the arrogant bastard at home and only bring your fun side?”
“If you promise to keep me in check, then yes.” He slants his lips over mine and this kiss is deliberate and slow. His fingers trace the contours of my jaw before his tongue sweeps mine. I wrap one of my legs around him. It is so easy to get lost in him. I feel his fingers trace the buckle of my belt, slip under it and I know where his hand is headed. The alarm to the gate chimes, alerting us that most likely Mya is here. We both pull back as if we were two teens caught naked, then laugh knowing one of us will let her in.
It is proof that we are fire, always hot, always burning and we get lost too easily and too fast. We don’t think we just do. It is always crazy and wild and desperate. When we need, we need together. But, there was fire in that kiss. There was emotion to it. It was deliberate and exactly what he wanted, without a ruse or excuse.
That made the kiss a game changer.
“Go get ready, and try for the love of God to blend in.” I say and grab a hair tie, securing it to my wrist and pocket my lip gloss and lighter.
“Oh, I’ll try to not humiliate you.”
“Please don’t.” I reply deadpan and he smacks my ass as we walk toward the front door.
Cal
It took twenty minutes to get up the hill, to find a spot that would accommodate all of us. I let Jen dress me in jeans and a hoodie and grabbed my old Mariners hat. I just wanted to blend in, but within five minutes in line Noah and I both were spotted. I followed Noah’s lead who simply told them he was here to enjoy the show not create one. Nobody asked for selfies or autographs and they were cool.
Then I found what he did to keep them at bay and had to laugh. He had called the venue ahead of time, let them know we were coming and paid for a thousand drink vouchers so he could buy some freedom.
He is smart as shit, tell you what.
I followed him to the business office and was lucky enough to make the same deal. Bright put Noah’s in her purse since the stack was three inches thick, so I asked Jen to carry mine which she obliged
“Will you be able to turn them away so easily?” She asks me, tempts me. I know she wants to prove me wrong, but I need her to see I am not just TAT.
“I don’t like to do that, but I want you to see I am more than what you see.”
I do to, I want her to see me for something other than the guy who partied with her…used her.
She nods and the little bit of sun that still shines is in her eyes and her fire engine red hair has a few wayward strands that are stuck to her lips. Fuck I want to move them away and keep this look she’s giving as she looks at me on her face, but I want to keep them there because she looks so carefree and perfect.
“Come on Rockstar, let’s go remind you why you love this shit.”
I am all too eager to follow her, hell I would follow her off a cliff at this point. It hits me like a sledgehammer that what I feel right now with Jenny, I never had with Tay. I never would be careless or free with Tay. We were always business or freak and never an in between. Our down time was spent talking TAT or sales or events… we never binge watched The Walking Dead like I do with Jen. We never sit and laugh around my firepit drinking beers. We had fun, yeah but not like this. Jen has a way of making life and all the mundane shit seem more fun.
I was falling for her and it scares me. Not for the reasons it did with Tayla, but because she is more than Tay in a way I never saw. I watch her now bouncing on her heels to the opening act… I can’t even tell you who they are because I am only watching her as she dances with Raleigh and Bright.
“I can’t believe she got you here.” Noah says and I direct my attention to him.
I laugh and drink from my beer and shake my head no. “I had to ask. Apparently, I am an arrogant douchebag.”
Noah looks appalled and I know it’s an act. “You? Arrogant? Never…”
I nod accepting the truth. When she described a concert, I felt it and remembered it and I had forgotten what it was like. “I gotta be honest, when she tells me I suck, I listen. When she tells me what she likes best about me I listen.”
