I laugh because he is funny, but also because he is right.
"You really into her?" He asks and hands my smoke back to me.
"Fuck yeah and I don't know why dude. I can't stand her type. Fuckin beauty pageants and shit. She even got the most generic tattoo dude and when she told me she wanted it generic on purpose I swear it made me hard."
He laughs. "Dude I get it, Cassa is as girly as they come and it gets me hot."
"Dude Cass is a badass though. She's all tatted and strong and such a bitch when need be. This girl probably sleeps on twelve mattresses like a fuckin princess."
"Bro my girl is tough as nails, but she has scars and I don't mean the physical, emotional scars that give her the edge and make her mean when she needs to be." I nod because I know he is right and its all besides the point anyway. "But what do I do with this? These women are all control freaks, and the most important women in my life. How do I make them happy without ruining any chance I have to get through this tour? I need a sponsor that's good for me."
"What says she isn't? Maybe wanting to fuck her is a good thing?"
Hell he has lost his mind. "I can't fuck her and bare my soul Shame." More importantly I wouldn’t.
"Why?" He took a seat by the fire pit that sat under the arbor in the yard. I walked over and flicked the switch and the glass shards inside the pit lit up in blue and orange flames.
"Because man, I don't have any intention of going there again. I can't. I can't spend time like that with a woman I want and handle it sober right now." I rub my neck and let out a sigh. "Fucking thinking of it makes me want to get high."
"Well, that ain't gonna happen dude. There are so many eyes on you this round that you might be better off taking her and fucking her for the next three months. I don't see pussy parties and a line of fangirls in your future."
I know he's right, but something about this chick says run. Run because she will break me. "Ya know had you listened for two seconds, you'd have learned that your sponsor would be the last chick you would have been fucking. In this century and the next."
Chad takes a seat next to Shame and warms his hands. I gotta admit, I'm curious why he thinks that. "Dude I have game. I guarantee I'd get there."
"I ain't looking to bet on the poor girl. I just know the major factor and you are too fucking spoiled and stubborn to listen."
WTF? "Dude, what the fuck? She gay?" I have to admit, that isn't a problem it’s a fuckin gold star if I can make it happen.
"No asshole, she's a sex addict."
Scene
Noah
I hate California. I can't stand the land of beauty and it worsens as I drive through Yorba Linda trying to follow the built in GPS in this fucking gutless electrical crap car the guy called a Prius.
Once I make the final turn and the British chick on the GPS tells me I will reach my destination in three hundred feet I slow looking for a house. There isn't one. All I see are coffee shops, tattoo studios and a few mom and pop cafes and clothing stores. No way she lived in a strip mall. Annoyed that I had to make this trip in the first place I decided to go ahead of the band and gather my sponsor and have Sully ride into Cali on my bus. We had a show kicking off in San Fran Cisco tomorrow and Tay wasn’t accepting anymore of my bullshit. Pretty much, I am fucked if I don’t have Bright in tow with me tomorrow.
I pull into a coffee shop called The Brew and it's the address T gave me. I park behind the building and turn the car off and call Tay to get the right address.
"Noah I am telling you, the address she gave us is 943 Banda Boulevard." She sounds highly frustrated by me and I want so bad to draw this moment out, but know that I am high on her shit list right now and playing nice was my only option.
"943 Banda Boulevard is a coffee shop called The Brew. I put that shit in the GPS, I can't fuckin verify it again or make it any clearer T. She gave you the wrong address so I am done hunting this pain in my ass out."
She scoffs and I swear my knuckles went white on the wheel. "Hunting her down? Really Noah? I gave you an address, George booked your first class flight and arranged for a rental car. You have been hunting for like… an hour."
"Mother fucker… George picked this car?" I knew someone was either teasing me or knew nothing about me. George knows nothing about me. I am pretty sure he's scared of me and by the way I feel emasculated by this car heshouldfear me.
"Hey buddy you can't park here." Some guy, not tall by even my sisters standards knocks on my window telling me to move. Once I look up and roll the window down and he got a look at me pandemonium ensued.
"Fuck my life…" I groan into the phone and watch as this guy dances around screaming 'he can't believe it'.
"What?"
"Just got sighted by a fan. I need to get out'a here…" I pause when I realize he is asking me a question. "Calm down dude, don’t cause a scene please." I am hoping this fan… er fanboy chills the fuck out.
"Ohmygod… okay so I need to calm down…" He tries breathing through his mouth but he can't stop doing some happy dance long enough to get a breath in and he is basically whispering. I can hear T laughing on the other end of the line and right before I am about to hang up on her this dude said what I needed to hear.
