And I had so much of it that it’d stunted any growth or healing. But lying there with Brinley in my arms, I couldn’t regret what Crimson Crows had become.
It was fucking important.
I knew to my soul that it was.
Our means might have been criminal, but expunging the slime from the earth counted as something.
I needed to find a way to tell her. Convince my crew that she needed to be on the inside. I didn’t think I could keep it from her for long, even if they overruled me.
Not when she had become the most important part of my life.
She shifted so she could peek up at my face. “You’re amazing, Silas Mercer. I see the care you have over every person on this property. But more than that, for your family. There is no question of your love.”
“It’s always felt like my intentions end up hurting the ones that I love. I try to protect them from it, but…”
Her head shook, and her fingertips kept playing over the words tattooed over my heart. “They all adore you. I’m not sure if you realize the way they look at you with respect and adoration.”
“That’s when Elena doesn’t want to kick my ass.” I put as much lightness into it as I could.
Brinley’s smile was soft. “Well, you are kind of overbearing. You can’t blame her.”
“I just want her to be happy. To live a normal life.”
“And you think being here is stopping that?” she whispered.
“She’s right, it’s basically a prison.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
My insides coiled. “Once this job is finished, I’m going to try to make it right. Fix some of this fucked-up mess that I have us in.”
A frown pinched her brow, and she softly ran the pads of her fingers over my bottom lip. “Well, don’t fix it too much because there’s love here, Silas. There’s joy and safety and belief. Even if you have a hard time seeing it.”
“You really believe that?”
“I wouldn’t be lying here if I didn’t.”
Emotion pulled tight across my chest, and I forced out what I’d been struggling with for months.
“I was afraid of bringing Kai here. Afraid that I’d be trading one nightmare for another for him.” I paused, then admitted, “I was going to ask my hacker friend to fake a birth certificate for him so he could be adopted. Find a good family for him who would love him the way he deserved.”
“Silas.” It was a wheeze. A question. An accusation.
Pure understanding.
She pushed up onto her elbow. “I get it. The panic. The fear. But he is so loved. That child…”
Her voice drifted off, no need for the words when her love for him was palpable.
Exuding from her spirit.
I reached up and touched her face. “I couldn’t do it, Brinley. I’ve tried to build myself up to it for the last two months, and I just can’t. I didn’t want to love him, just like I didn’t want to love you.” I hesitated, then asked, “Did you mean it? That you love him?”
She breathed out a shaky sigh. “I think I fell in love with him the moment I met him.”
Significance sharpened the air, and I let my thumb roam the angle of her cheek. “I want us to raise him, Brinley. As ours.”
“What about his mother?”
