“Not really. He’s trying. He’s making sounds, but I can’t… I can’t understand him.”
“Okay. You’re doing well. Stay with me. How old is he?”
“He’s forty-nine.”
“Does he have any known medical conditions?”
“Yes.” The word tears out of me before I can brace for it. “He has pancreatic cancer. Stage four.”
There is the smallest pause on the other end. Not hesitation or shock, just acknowledgment.
“Is he currently on any medications?”
“Yes. Pain management. Chemo. I don’t… I don’t know all the names. I can get them if you need.”
“That’s okay for now. We can get that from the paramedics when they arrive. Has he hit his head?”
“I don’t think so. There’s glass… Dad dropped a glass. It broke. I don’t know if h-he…” My voice fractures again. “I don’t know what happened. I just heard a crash.”
“All right, I need you to listen carefully. Is he clutching his chest?”
“Yes.” My eyes burn as I look down at his arm, still drawn tight across himself like he’s holding something in place. “Yes, he is.”
“Is his breathing shallow or labored?”
“Yes. Both. It’s… it’s like he can’t get enough air.”
“Okay. The ambulance is on the way. They’re coming as fast as they can. I need you to stay on the line with me.”
“I’m here,” I say, though it feels like a lie. Nothing about this feels like being here, in this moment.
“Can you gently roll him onto his back?”
“I don’t want to hurt him.”
“You won’t. I’ll guide you.”
My hands shake so badly I have to force them to obey. I slide one behind Dad’s shoulders, one at his hip, and ease him over inch by inch, every movement feeling like it might shatter him.
“That’s good. You’re doing well. Is he responsive when you speak to him?”
“Dad,” I whisper, bending close. “Can you hear me?”
His eyes move. That’s all, but it’s enough.
“Yes,” I choke. “He knows I’m here.”
“Good. Keep talking to him. That helps. Is there anyone else in the house?”
“No.”
“Do you have any pets that need to be secured?”
“No.”
“All right. I want you to unlock the front door if you can do so safely. That will help paramedics reach you faster.”
“I don’t want to leave him.”
