Now I did laugh. A real loud laugh that came from somewhere deep in my chest.
Zuri was smiling too. She leaned in close and kissed my cheek softly.
"Today is your day," she said, her voice quiet but carrying so much weight. "I want you to feel as beautiful as you are and when all the fairytale shit dies down, I trust you to do what'sright. I never disliked you Tattiana, I just want to know that you can be trusted. I’ll protect my family from any and everybody, so don’t think this was personal. Be honest with my son. Let him know who you are and if everything you said today about you and him is true, then he’ll be understanding.”
She pulled back and looked at me directly.
"I know you and your mom aren't close," she continued, "but I want you to always know that you can come to me for any and everything. And if you ever feel like something is too big for you to handle, we'll handle it together, baby doll."
She leaned in even closer so only I could hear her next words.
"I don't know if you know, but I've always wore the pants around here. These niggas are on the frontline, but I’ve always called the shots. I’m who muthafuckas fear. I’m the real problem solver," she whispered, and then she winked at me.
She stood up, squeezed my shoulder one more time, and walked out of the salon like she'd never been there at all.
I sat in that chair, looking at myself in the mirror with the Chanel clip, the necklace, the lipstick, and the knowledge that Kaseem's mother just gave me her blessing.
My heart melted.
This was the conversation I needed. The one that showed me that Zuri wasn't trying to tear me down. She was testing me. Making sure I was strong enough to stand beside her son.
And I had passed.
Finally her ass could stop with the damn test.Her words lingered on me and I knew I was gonna have to tell Kaseem about my past. Maybe I was wrong for wanting to get marriedfirst. In my mind, I believe that my husband wouldn’t give up on me, so once everything was official then I would break the news to him.
—
On the ride home from the salon, I texted Kaseem. Just something simple to let him know I was thinking about him. I was nervous as hell and kinda wanted a lil reassurance.
His response came back before I could even set my phone down.
"Can't wait to see you. I know you bout to pop your shit tonight. Tonight is about you.”
I smiled to myself looking at those words. With everything he had going on - Zaire getting stabbed in jail, the legal battle, his mother testing me, him running an empire - he was still thinking about me. Still being nice for now and making sure my day was everything. That meant something. That meant everything, honestly.
The family stylist who had designed my dress, she was waiting at the house when I got there. She took one look at me fresh from the salon and nodded in approval. My hair was in long barrel curls with a deep side part and a side bang that was curled beautifully. My face was beat to perfection and my makeup was flawless. Zuri’s red lipstick with that brown liner, it was chefs kiss and brought the whole look together. I’d gotten my nails and toes a baby pink color. This was the most beautiful I had ever felt in my life.
Then she led me to the bedroom where the dress was hanging.
It was perfect. It was so beautiful that my mouth fell.
Pearl and cream lace, cut in a way that showed off my curves without being too extra about it. Before I did anything else, I made sure to put those blue panties on that Zuri had bought for me. I wanted to make sure that I had everything tonight. I needed my marriage to have nothing but good luck.
When I slipped into it, it fit like it was made for just me. Like Kaseem had somehow known exactly what I would want without me having to say anything. She helped me get into it and made sure I was zipped all the way. She smooth the dress out, checking for any adjustments needing to be made while she smiled hard admiring her work.
I looked at myself in the mirror and the first thing I felt wasn't joy. It was grief.
My mother should have been here. She should have been helping me into this dress, telling me how beautiful I looked, making jokes about my future. Instead, she'd disowned me years ago and I was standing in front of a mirror with a stylist I barely knew.
"You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen," the stylist said, and her voice was kind enough that I believed her. She handed me the bouquet - white roses and baby's breath - and after I looked myself over one more time, we headed downstairs.
The sun was setting when I got in the car. The sky was turning shades of orange and pink, and the whole day felt like it wasmade just for me.
I had no idea where I was going but I didn't need to. Wherever Kaseem had set this up, I knew that it would be right. The entire ride I was nervous but also kind of excited that after today, life would change for me. The car pulled up to the Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Garden and I felt my breath catch.
I was helped out the car by the driver, and a host greeted me at the entrance, took my name, and led me to a private area that took my breath away all over again.
White roses and orchids lined everything - the pathways, the archway, everywhere I looked. Candlelit pathways wound through the garden. A string quartet was playing something soft and beautiful. The sunset was reflecting off the water and making everything glow like we were in another world.
