I heard Kaseem make it back into the house around 7. He’d been gone all day and I figured he’d been handling business. But, after what his mom said, maybe he’d been with a bitch today. He knew better than to bring one here, so maybe he’d gone over there. I hated that I even let this woman get into my head like that. She had me caring about shit that I had no business worrying about.
My heart jumped at the sound of him before I could control it. I'd been on that porch most of the day thinking about what Zuri said, running through scenarios, trying to figure out what she actually knew. But the second I heard him come home, all of that faded to the back.
A few minutes later he was at my door.
He didn't knock. Just pushed it open and walked in like he knew I'd be there, which I was. I was sitting on the edge of the bed still in the clothes I'd put on this morning.
"Get dressed," he said. "We're going out. You got twenty minutes to meet me in the front.”
He wasn't asking. And he looked stressed. His jaw was tight and his eyes had that look they got when he'd been handling business. But underneath the stress, there was something else. Like he wanted to see me. Like he needed to see me.
"Where are we going?" I asked, standing up.
"Just get dressed," he said. "Nice but comfortable."
He left and closed the door behind him.
I moved fast. As much as I hated to admit it, I was kinda happy to be getting out with him. All we’ve done is argue and lay up at night. Pulled on a cream colored fitted dress that wasn't too formal but looked put together. The kind of thing you wore when you wanted to look good but not like you were trying too hard. I did my hair quick, threw on some light makeup, and grabbed a pink cardigan in case it was cold outside.
Twenty minutes exactly, I was at the front of the house.
He was waiting by the door in all white— fitted shirt, denim distressed jeans, and some off-white designer sneakers. He looked like he'd showered and changed since he got home. His hair was fresh and his waves were shining. His cologne was heavy. He looked tired but he looked at me like I was the first thing that made sense all day.
He opened the truck door for me on the passenger side. He was driving us tonight.
He watched me get in. When he closed the door and came around to the driver's side, he reached over and grabbed my hand before he even started the engine.
I looked up at him and I could feel the stress coming off him in waves. Whatever he'd been doing all day, it was weighing on him. His whole energy was different. Heavy. Like he was carrying something he didn't know how to put down.
Without thinking, I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned over and hugged him tight.
He froze.
For a minute he didn't move. His hands were still on the steering wheel and I was just wrapped around him like I knew this was what he needed. Like this was normal for us, although it wasn’t. Like we were the kind of couple that did this.
Then his arms came up and he held me back. Pulled me closer. Buried his face in my hair and just held me like that. His chin rested on top of my head and he breathed out slow like I was the thing that was keeping him grounded today.
We sat like that for a minute. Maybe longer. I didn't count. I just stayed pressed against him and felt his heartbeat while I tried to give him whatever it was he needed in that moment.
Finally, he pulled back but kept one arm around me while he started the truck with the other.
"You good?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said. But his voice said something different. "I just needed that and didn’t even know it."
We pulled out of the compound and he didn't say where we were going. He just drove. One hand on the wheel, the other on my thigh. The radio was on low. His grip on my leg was firm like he was making sure I wasn’t going nowhere.
About thirty minutes later, we pulled up to a spot overlooking Dallas. It was like a drive up rooftop. The whole city was lit up below us. Buildings, lights and life happening all at once.
He cut the engine and we just sat there.
"I had a long day," he said finally. "A lot of shit I can't talk to you about. A lot of shit I gotta handle that may get ugly as hell before it gets better."
I didn't say anything. I just waited.
"But I needed to get away from it for a minute," he continued. "And I needed to be around you. Shit, I wanted to come home and just be close to you. This shit feel crazy. I ain’t gone lie.”
That hit different. He wasn't playing games. He wasn't being cold or distant. He was just being honest.
