I’d always heard of weird pregnancy cravings and often wondered what mine would be like when I used to daydream about starting a family with Adam. But those times had come and gone, regretfully.
At my Alpha’s raised eyebrow, I huffed out a breath. “Fine, fine.” I took a bite, almost gagged, and immediately spit it out in a napkin. Ugh, nasty. “Nope. It’s all yours, Sky. Enjoy.”
Sky laughed and greedily took the bowl back. “Delicious.”
As I watched him eat the strange concoction with the happiness of a child, my heart began to ache. I wasn’t jealous, but… This was everything I had ever wanted. To have a baby with Adam. To carry our child and start a family.
Now, to see Sky living my dream? It hurt.
Feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden, I excused myself and sought the restroom. I’d no sooner locked myself in the stall when the tears fell, hot and silent, down my cheeks.
I loved Adam so much, and I loved Sky, but damn if it didn’t hurt to see Sky getting exactly what I’d always dreamed of. My happily-ever-after.
I knew I wasn’t being fair. This was Sky’s dream, too, and through Sky, we were finally going to get the family we’d always wanted, but damn it… It felt like my heart was cracking in two.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat on that cold toilet lid, weeping softly for everything I’d never get, but when someone entered the bathroom, I hastily wiped my face and blew my nose in a wad of toilet paper.
“Fletch?” Sky’s voice was quiet, uncertain, and it only made my chest hurt more. “You okay?”
I sucked in a deep breath and swallowed my emotions, then unlocked the stall I was in and came out. Sky stood near the sinks, his brow furrowed with worry and his lower lip pinched between his teeth. When he saw me—or rather the fact that I’d been crying—his face fell.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked, his voice wavering, and I nearly sobbed all over again because I was hurting him and I didn’t mean to.
“No, sweetheart,” I murmured, going to him. I smoothed his hair back from his face with gentle hands. “You did nothing wrong. I’m just a little emotional today, that’s all.”
“Do you need a hug?” he asked. Normally I was the one to as him that, but this time? I reallydidneed a hug.
When I nodded, Sky wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. I embraced him back, settling my head on his shoulder. For several minutes, the two of us simply swayed back and forth in the middle of the men’s bathroom and hugged it out.
Then, softly, barely a whisper, Sky said, “Love you,” and my heart… It was the first time he’d ever said those words, and he sounded so honest, so raw.
I swallowed around the tightness in my throat and gave him a squeeze, then kissed his temple. “I love you too, baby. C’mon, let’s get back to Adam before he gets worried.”
By the time we got back to the table, however, Adam was concerned. “Is everything alright?”
“Just a little sad is all,” I said. “I’ll be okay.”
The reality was, Sky was the answer to our prayers. The little miracle growing inside of him was the baby that Adam and I so desperately desired, except now we’d have a family of four.
Still, as Sky’s pregnancy developed, I knew I was going to need a little help working through these old wounds. I made a note on my phone to set up an appointment with my therapist so that I could move through these feelings with professional help. I didn’t want to end up hurting myself—or worse, Sky—with my misplaced emotions.
Adam seemed to know exactly what was wrong. As soon as we got home, he turned his full attention to me. We sat on the couch together, and he pulled me into his lap, nuzzling and kissing the mark he’d made on my neck, once upon a time.
When Sky excused himself to the bathroom, Adam turned to me, his expression solemn. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I let out a soft sigh. “Not really, no. I’ll be okay. It’s just hitting me all at once, you know?”
“I know, kitten,” he murmured. “I had a feeling this would happen.”
“It’s hard.”
“Itishard. Even though it’s what we both want, it’s not going how we ever imagined it, but we’re still getting our dream.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “And Sky is perfect for us.”
Adam smiled. “That he is. Our pack of three will become a pack of four once the baby is born. Our family will be complete and our hearts will be whole. We’ll finally get our happily-ever-after—all of us.”
The way he said it, with such utter conviction, made the tension in my body loosen a little, made it easier to breathe. “You’re right,” I murmured.
