Page 121 of Remember the Future


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“To admit her to his bedchamber would, of course, be entirely out of the question,” Mrs. Reynolds added gently. “But as a compromise, Colonel Fitzwilliam has had the small west parlour made ready. It adjoins the master’s chambers but may be entered separately, and with the door left partially open... the proprieties may be observed.”

Dr. Wentworth gave a measured nod. “He will be brought there shortly. And if he overexerts himself, I shall hold both gentlemen accountable.”

With that, the physician withdrew, and Colonel Fitzwilliam followed, murmuring something about seeing to the arrangements himself. Elizabeth remained where she was, her gaze fixed upon the light shifting across the windowpane, though she scarcely saw it.

The minutes passed—slow, uncertain, and weighty with anticipation. It might have been an hour; it might have been ten. Time, for once, seemed to move without heed of clocks.

At last, Mrs. Gardiner returned. Her expression was gentle, her voice even more so. “He is ready for you, dearest,” she said.

The walk to the west wing was quiet, but not solemn. Elizabeth knew the way. Her feet found it easily, as if by memory rather than direction, and her fingers brushed the banister as she climbed, tracing the familiar curve at the turn of the stair. The brass sconces caught the light just as they had before, gleaming softly in the golden hour. She did not pause, but each step seemed to carry her deeper into recollection—of glances, of laughter, of doors half-opened and evenings that had once ended with the promise of more. With every hallway passed, with every remembered corner, hope rose stronger in her chest. The house knew her. And she was coming home.

The small west parlour door had been left slightly ajar. Mrs. Gardiner paused beside it, gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and murmured, “We shall wait just beyond.”

The room was just as it had been the first time she saw it as his wife. Not long after their wedding, she had stepped into this space for the first time and paused just beyond the threshold, uncertain whether it was truly hers to enter. It had been his—entirely his—for so many years. It bore the unmistakable stamp of his quiet, masculine comfort. The high-backed chairs near the hearth were upholstered in a dark green damask—well-chosen for ease and support, though she had once dared to say that they made the room feel too shadowed. He had laughed and said he trusted her judgement,and soon after they were re-covered in rose, not for utility, but because she said they caught the light. A blanket had been drawn across his lap, and a pillow placed behind him for support.

But unmistakably he—his posture still proud his posture still proud, his profile still fine. He did not rise; he could not. But his eyes found her the moment she entered, he watched her quietly as she scanned the rest of the room. The cherry sideboard stood exactly where it always had, near the west-facing windows, beside the low settee where he liked to take his coffee and morning paper. In time, that settee would be replaced by a modest dining table—one chosen after they discovered that they preferred to take their suppers in private, and together.

Only one bookshelf lined the far wall, its contents familiar and untouched: Cicero, Gibbon, Locke, and several volumes of Milton, their pages softened by long use and memory. Beside it stood the small, original settee—unassuming, upright, and perfectly in keeping with the room’s earlier severity. Later, he would replace it with a deeper couch—one so inviting she had teased him, saying it looked scandalously well-suited to napping. He had merely raised an eyebrow and replied that he found it suited her taste perfectly. That couch was not here now. Only the original remained, quiet and dutiful, like the room itself—still his.

There was no second shelf to make room for her favorite authors, no lap desk or sewing box nestled in the corner, no fresh-cut flowers arranged for scent rather than ornament. There were no traces of her—no scattered shawl, no paper left carelessly open, no ink stain she might have scolded herself for. It was still the room of a man who had not expected company, but who had, perhaps, begun to imagine it.

And even now, it held warmth—not only from the fire in the grate, but from the sense of quiet readiness that had always lived within its walls.

Finally, she met his eyes.

He spoke just above a whisper. “Is it like you remembered?”

Her breath caught. For a moment, she could not answer. He had asked her once before—how long they had been married—and it had been the first time she truly believed that he believed her, and in the life they had once shared. She had meant to tell him. But they had been interrupted. Those had been their last words to each other. She had placed all her hope in them. And then… he had not come.

As the days passed and no word arrived, her confidence had faltered. With every unanswered question, with every morning that brought no message, her belief had begun to waver. She had tried to hold fast to the memory of his voice, of that one moment of understanding between them—but it had grown harder to keep faith whenthe silence stretched on and on. It had not broken all at once, but slowly, steadily, as doubt pressed in on every side.

And yet, at last, the truth had come.

These were his first words to her—Is it like you remembered?

She stepped forward slowly, until only a breath remained between them, and whispered, “Yes.”

Then, with a tremor, she looked into his face. “I thought you were going to die,” she said.

“I did not,” he answered simply.

“I would have come sooner,” she murmured. “If I had known. If even one letter—”

“I know.”

“I waited and waited. I told myself you would come. And then I thought—perhaps you would not. And then—then I feared you could not.” Her voice broke. “And all that while you lay in silence, and I did not come.”

He shifted slightly, the movement drawing a faint wince, but he reached out his hand to her without hesitation. She took it at once and sank to her knees before him, pressing his fingers between hers as if to reassure herself he was real.

“You must not blame yourself,” he said gently, watching her with that steadiness only he possessed.

“But I do,” she said, the words tumbling out. “You were hurt—because of me—and I was not there. I let myself doubt. I let myself believe, for one dreadful moment, that you had changed your mind. That you had decided not to come. I tried to be brave, but I thought—what if I had dreamed too much? What if I had misunderstood everything, and you had never meant—”

He shook his head, barely. “No.”

She drew in a sharp breath, her thumb brushing the back of his hand. “You must have thought I had abandoned you.”

His voice, quiet but firm, did not waver. “Never.”