“I wish they were here now,” Skylar said and took my hand. “I hate waiting.”
“How about you?” I asked Nova. “Do you hate waiting?”
“No, because I’m having fun right now,” she said as she held my hand and Lyric’s. “I want to enjoy every single minute, even if I have to wait longer.”
The girls nodded in agreement with their mom. They seemed confident as we left the complex.
Soon, though, their eyes grew huge as we walked a few blocks along the center of town to the restaurant. Little Memphis was hopping on a Saturday night. I’d considered taking Nova’s SUV, but the longish walk would wear out the girls.
My plan worked, and they crashed early in their bed. Nova rewarded my efforts with enough sex to leave me exhausted. The girls weren’t the only ones to sleep throughout the night.
“I’m going to miss the elevator,” Lyric told me as we prepared to leave on Sunday evening. “I’m going to miss the pool.”
“Can we come back next weekend if your mom and dad are here?” Skylar asked, frowning up at me. “I can sleep on the couch.”
Lyric nodded. “Me too.”
“My parents won’t want to take your room,” I said and cradled their hands while we walked to Nova’s SUV. “I’ll find them another condo to sleep at.”
The girls seemed so sad about leaving my home. Nova also looked bummed. I couldn’t have asked for a better first weekend at the condo. Holy hell, the girls even said I was a good cook!
NOVA
On Monday, while Boone rode with Clint, Ivy joined the girls and me at the park after we picked up Skylar from school. Though my oldest daughter would need a nap soon, she listened patiently while Lyric told her a story in the sandbox.
Next to me, Ivy was bundled up in an orange bubble jacket and track pants. She shivered in the 50-degree weather. When Ivy shared how she rarely went outside in Reno and never in the cold, I wasn’t sure she would last much longer than Skylar would today.
Smiling at my girls playing together, I considered another child. “I know you and Clint just got married, but have you thought about kids?”
“He’s nervous because of my heart condition, but I would like to start trying next year. It would be cool to have a baby close in age with Elle’s son.”
Nodding, I admitted, “After leaving Chris, I never expected to find anyone or have more kids. Now with Boone, I find myself daydreaming about having his baby.”
“Making a family with the man you love makes sense. I grew up surrounded by dysfunctional people. I didn’t think love like the kind I feel for Clint was possible. I mean, I saw it in entertainment, but it felt like a fantasy sold to people. Now that I’m surrounded by people who love that way, I want everything, too.”
“I feel like I should go wild first and then have a baby.”
“Why choose? Do you think Elle won’t be wild after she gives birth? She was throwing down and riding her motorcycle after Sutter Cane was born.”
Sighing, I admitted, “I still have my stepfamily’s rules drilled into my head. For them, marriage and motherhood meant givingup my personal needs. I know it’s not real. Shay and Bebe have hobbies that don’t revolve around their husbands. I see them living fun lives. The stuff I was taught was bullcrap, but it still clouds my thinking.”
“Give yourself grace,” Ivy said and snuggled against me. “We’re both new to this life. I had no friends for so long that sometimes I find myself lonely in the condo when Clint is busy. I don’t even think to text anyone or go looking for people to hang out with. It’s a bad habit that I’m working through. You’ve got your issues, too, but we haven’t even spent a year in Little Memphis yet.”
Ivy’s words stuck with me after I was back home with the girls. As they napped, I considered how something broke inside me when Dan left South Dakota. I stopped growing as a person in many ways. Those old hurts and hangups were clouding my current relationship with him.
I found my brother in the backyard. Lula stood at the fence, talking to her dad. Pax was acting out something involving shooting and jumping. Lula kept laughing at whatever story he told her.
Seeing Dan in his cowboy hat, I thought about how miserable he had been in South Dakota. Our maternal grandparents and stepfamilies had stolen his identity and even his hat. He was forced into a box that didn’t fit him.
Settling in a chair next to Dan, I shared his smile. He glanced around, likely looking for Boone. He couldn’t relax when the other biker was around.
“Boone thinks I’m acting out toward you since I wasn’t rebellious as a teenager.”
Rubbing at his bearded chin, Dan muttered, “He thinks that, huh?”
“He says that’s why I act overly affectionate toward him around you. It’s like I’m trying to piss off an authority figure.”
“Well, youhavebeen treating me like your overprotective dad.”
