Now, in Little Memphis, I had a chance to regain what I lost. The first step was learning to take what I wanted, starting with the affection of the handsome biker winning over my girls.
BOONE
Skylar and Lyric were easy to entertain. I asked them questions, bought them gifts, watched them play, showed them pictures, and nodded at everything they said. I wasn’t sure if that was all parenthood involved or whether they were especially good kids.
Nova watched my every move until I started to buckle under the pressure. I thought winning her over with my daddy skills would be simple, considering their real father had been an abusive fuck.
“You don’t have to entertain them,” Nova said as she cleaned up, and the girls sat on the floor with Ramen.
“Is that true?” I asked, forgetting to censor myself. “If I were indifferent toward them, would you still want to date me?”
“Well, maybe not if you were indifferent. But you don’t have to be their best friend.”
“Would it be that easy to become their best friend?”
“They like people.”
“Were you friendly when you were little?”
Nova frowned as if I had poked at a sensitive spot. “What do you know about me?”
“You’re from Baton Rouge and then somewhere in South Dakota before that. You were married to a man who now sleeps with the fishes. You’re a great mom, a little shy, and exceptionally gorgeous. Oh, and I know you were shot. Did I miss anything?”
Nova ran through my words. I saw the exact moment when she zeroed in on “exceptionally gorgeous.” A soft blush spread across her cheeks, and a smile warmed her face. Suddenly, she went still and shook her head.
“Do you know about my parents?”
“No. Should I?”
Nova shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, we aren’t our parents, are we?”
“No, but my parents definitely influenced who I am today.”
On edge instantly, she asked, “Would you think less of me if I had bad parents?”
“No, if you had bad parents, I’d be more impressed with how well you turned out.”
Nova smiled softly. “My mom was mostly just disappointing.”
“And your dad?”
“He was worse than their dad,” Nova mumbled and gestured at the girls brushing Ramen. “Much worse.”
“To you?”
“No,” Nova said and exhaled unsteadily. “He was a criminal, but not like you. A very bad criminal.”
“But he didn’t hurt you?”
“No. I was little when he went to prison, but the few memories I have are positive. He didn’t seem bad. That’s what broke my mom. She couldn’t really understand how he was so fun and kind with us, and then so evil with other people.”
As a kid, I had learned in a rather casual way that my parents were criminals and hurt people. However, I also understood the people they hurt weren’t worth worrying over. I didn’t sense Nova’s father targeted the bad guys.
“Even the worst people have positive qualities. If that’s all you see, it can be difficult to believe in the bad sides,” I said and shrugged. “I’m sure the people who got fucked up by my mom and dad didn’t think they’d be good parents. They only saw their bad sides. But life is complicated. We can only try to make the best choices and deal with the consequences.”
Nova stared hard at me. “I didn’t know Chris was a bad man.”
“Okay, but even if you did, people make mistakes.”
