Chapter Sixty-Six
Tori
Noah is missing.
Harry managed to deliver the news. The words have been rolling around in my head for the past hour as I stare at the wall, numb to the bone as I try to make sense of it all.
He’s not dead.
Not confirmed alive, just missing. Where is he? Is he hurt? Is he sick? Is he in trouble?
All we know is that the helicopter he was on was shot down, and only the pilot’s body has been found. All other remaining passengers were unaccounted for and have been for the past week.
My thoughts drift back to the night I had my panic attack. I knew then, deep in my gut, that something was wrong. I could feel it. Because the fabric of our souls are woven in such a waythat I felt everything he did, and it was the same for him. Noah is in danger right now, but he is still with us—I can feel it—and I cling to that thought.
Jack enters the room as he ends a call. The guys have been on the phone, trying to get more answers. Jack was down as Noah’s emergency contact, and while that fact initially stung, I know why he did it. He wouldn’t have wanted me to find out alone, and that thought causes a pain to ricochet through my body. The idea of losing a man like Noah Jones is incomprehensible.
The idea of our daughter never knowing how great her father truly is shatters my heart into tiny pieces.
A comforting hand rests on my shoulder as a steaming hot cup of tea is placed on the coffee table in front of me.
“Here, tea makes everything better, right?” Ria jokes, sniffing. I look at her tear stained face, and guilt simmers inside of me. Everyone has been so focused on making sure that I’m okay that I haven’t thought about the impact this is having on Ria. It’s her brother. I take her hand in mine.
“Thank you. How are you doing?” She shrugs, tears pooling in her ocean blue eyes that are just the same as Noah’s, ones that I hope our daughter inherits.
“I’m okay,” she says, giving my hand a squeeze. We sit together in silence, just holding hands and taking comfort in one another.
“He’s going to be okay,” she says softly.
I nod, praying she’s right.
“If there’s one thing about my brother, it’s that he’s a fighter. Wherever he is, I know he’ll be fighting his way back home to you both.”
I place her hand on my bump as the baby wriggles and some color and light return to Ria’s face as she feels her niece move.
“Oh wow. I forgot how amazing it is to feel them kick.” “I don’t think I’ve ever had the opportunity to say this, so now feels asgood a time as any. But you are the best thing to ever happen to my brother.”
Her words make me still as the weight of them settles into my bones, easing the tension of the muscles around them.
“You ground him. You’re his reason to stop running from the past and settle in one place.” She cradles my bump with both hands and says, “You’ve given him a home.”
I pull her in for a hug, unable to speak but hoping that she can see how much her words mean to me.
Clinging to me tightly, she repeats the words that have been the only thing keeping me going since I was told he was missing: “And that is why I know he’s fighting to get home to you. Just have faith, Tor.”
Chapter Sixty-Seven
Tori
It’s been three days since we were told that Noah and his unit were missing.
Every part of me wanted to curl up in bed, lie in the darkness, and let my sadness take over, but what good would that do? It would hurt Noah to know I was hiding away and leaning into my sadness. No, until we had definitive answers, I needed to try and keep going. So, I put one foot in front of the other. I did it crying, I did it anxious, I did it angry, but I kept doing it.
It was the day of my baby prep day that the girls had organized, and even though every part of my mind, body, and soul screamed at me not to go, I pushed through and went. I was waxed, plucked, scrubbed, and painted. I left that spa feeling a little lighter and with a glow that I hoped would see me through until the birth.
We stopped off for some dinner at a local Italian restaurant and stocked up on some more baby essentials, even though my daughter had enough to see her through until she was three, but still, the distraction was welcomed. For just a few hours, I wasn’t living in a real-life nightmare. I was just a mom-to-be, enjoying a spa day and shopping with friends.
“You doing okay, Tor?” Gabby asks, reaching for the bags I’m holding as we walk through the bustling New York streets back toward her car.
