She’s pregnant, she’s pregnant with my baby, our baby. I’m going to be a dad.
My gaze ping pongs between her tearful eyes and the test that is in her shaky hand.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she chokes out. “I didn’t mean it, I, I have been taking my pill, but it didn’t work and…”
I pull her to me, the test clatters to the floor, and I hold her tight. “Hey, hey, you don’t have to be sorry, darlin’.”
She sobs and I rock her from side to side, trying to understand the gravity of her news.
Pregnant, she’s pregnant.
One word that has now intertwined and changed our lives forever.
“Tori, look at me,” I say gently. She lifts her head, and I brush away the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I know you are scared right now, but it’s going to be okay.”
She sniffs. “You’re not mad?”
“Mad? Darlin’, why would I be mad?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. We just got together properly, and we didn’t plan this, and we didn’t even talk about all this and—” I cut off her ramble by pressing my lips to hers, and her rigid body slowly softens under my touch.
“I love you, and I promise you, I’ve never been happier,” I tell her, meaning every god damn word of it.
“I love you too.” She lets out a sigh.
“How do you feel about it. You said you didn’t want kids. Do you want this? This is your decision, Tori, I’ll support you whatever you want to do.” I ask her because as happy as I am to learn she’s pregnant, I need to make sure this is what she wants too.
“I want this baby. I always said I didn’t want kids because I didn’t want to enter a relationship again. My heart couldn’t cope with another heartbreak, another loss. I’ve longed to be a mum, but just decided and accepted that it was never on the cards for me.”
“I can understand that,” I reassure her, finally understanding why she said no to kids all this time.
“We didn’t get a chance to figure everything out, where will we live, what will you do for a job, this is all too soon, it’s—” she says hurriedly, panic evident in her voice.
“It’s going to be fine,” I say firmly. “Tori, I love you, and knowing you are pregnant with our baby makes me the happiest man in the world. All I’ve wanted is you, to build a life with you.” I rest my hand on her flat stomach and smile. “And this is the start of that.”
She covers my hand with hers and leans against my chest. “I’m scared. I don’t think I can do this alone.”
“You’re not doing this alone; I’m going to be right here with you.” When she lets out a sigh of relief, I am hit with a wave of guilt, and my reality comes crashing down around me, because I will be leaving her. I have to go away, and there’s no escaping it.
How am I meant to tell her that I am leaving her when she’s at her most vulnerable? How do I break her heart when it’s only just mended? How am I meant to leave the woman I love, who I’ve waited years to love loudly, who’s now pregnant with my baby? I came here with the intention of telling her I have one final trip before I can leave, but now this baby changes everything. I don’t want to do anything to put this pregnancy at risk.
How can life be so cruel and unfair? I hold her tightly, pressing a kiss to her head and close my eyes tightly.
I just pray we both have one last shred of strength to get through this, because if we don’t? It might be the thing that will truly break us both.
Chapter Fifty-Two
Tori
The flight to New York was long and exhausting. Noah kept checking I was okay, and being everything I needed at that moment. But all his reassurance, love, and compassion can’t erase the anxiety and fear that is growing by the hour. Now, the shock has worn off, I am feeling it all.
I knock on Harry and Ali’s apartment door with a shaky hand and let out a slow breath just as Noah wraps a comforting arm around my waist and Harry pulls open the door.
His gaze bounces between Noah and I.
“What are you two doing here…together?” he asks, eyeing us suspiciously. Silence falls, and I swear I am about to throw up what little I have in my stomach. But I’m thankful when Noah springs into action.
“Nice to see you too. Can’t your two favorite people surprise you?” he says with a fake grin.
