“You know each other?” Tori asks, pointing to Harry and me.
“We all do, pretty girl. Come here,” Scotty says, leaning over the bar and pulling Tori in for a kiss, my heart sinks.
“That’s enough,” Harry groans. I have so many questions, but I’m too shocked to speak. She’s Scotty’s girl? How, when?
“You two are together?” I ask, not really wanting the answer, but before I fall headfirst for this girl, I need to know.
“It’s ermm, complicated,” Tori says, chewing the inside of her cheek.
“They’re hooking up, and the less we talk about it, the better. Whiskey, please, Tor. Large.” Harry slides onto the stool beside me. “Jack and Brad are finishing up in the gym and will be heading over.”
I don’t reply. I’m too busy staring at Tori as she pours another two whiskeys, but her focus isn’t on the task; no, it’s on me. She gives me an apologetic smile that does something to my body. The news that she’s hooking up with Scotty is like a bitch slap to the face, because now there is no way I can pursue her. There is an unspoken rule, a bro code: you don’t fuck around with your friend's girl, no matter how badly you want them.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Dean, one of the guys I have done many tours with, asks, pulling me back to the moment.
“I’m not sure you have enough, buddy.” I chuckle.
He grins. “So who is she?”
“She? What makes you think I’ve got a woman on my mind?”
“When a guy has that faraway look, it’s usually a woman. So who is she?”
I clear my throat, straighten in my seat and adjust my bulletproof vest. As soon as this plane lands, we are transferring to a car. We are already taking a risk landing where we are, so we need to be quick and have our wits about us the minute our boots hit the ground. We have been tasked with evacuating some high-profile people who were warned not to enter the country but got themselves into some trouble, and now we have to go save their asses. So right now, my mind being on Tori isn’t ideal.
“It’s complicated.” I sigh.
“How so?” Dean continues to probe. He’s not usually the chatty type, but today, he’s worse than a soccer mom at a PTA meeting.
Deciding I have nothing to lose by telling him, I open up. “A buddy of mine, he erm, died when we were on operation and she was his girl.”
Dean stares wide-eyed. “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.”
“See, I told you it was complicated.”
“How long has this thing between you been going on?” he asks.
I stretch my neck and feel it click, anxiety and tension building in my body.
“I think it’s nearly ten years at this point, on and off. No matter what I do or how hard I try to keep away from her, something draws us back together,” I admit.
“Sounds like she’s your soul mate if you ask me,” Dean says.
I shake my head. “There’s so many reasons we wouldn’t work. Besides, she doesn’t want this life, and I couldn’t expect her to, not after what she’s been through.”
Dean rubs a hand over his short beard. “Maybe you need to think about what you really want. If this job is the only thing standing in your way, maybe it’s time to call it a day.”
I let his words sink in. Is he right? Maybe? But she doesn’t want to settle down and have kids, she says she’s happy, she’s built a life that doesn’t include me, and I don’t want to fuck it all up. And these days, this job is the only thing holding me together.
No, I’ll have to settle for being her friend and loving her from afar. But that notion is easier to follow through with when we are thousands of miles apart. Lord only knows how I’ll feel if I ever get to see her again. I guess I’ll have to let fate decide that one.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Tori
Seven months later.
The universe is punishing me for whatever I did in a past life, I’m sure of it. What drew me to that conclusion? Well, Noah showing up unannounced this morning at Jack and Ria’s lake house, when I was informed by Harry that he was very much deployed.
