“No, it’s fine. I’m in a good place now. I’ve healed, and I’m happy.”
His eyes crease as he smiles back at me.
“Happy looks good on you, Tor.”
“And what about you?” I ask. “Any plans to leave the special forces and settle down?”
“Not yet.”
A silence falls between us. I look out at the sun rising over the Thames and realize I only have a few hours left with him. Whoknows when I’ll see him again? And the thought forms a pit of dread in my stomach, because sitting here with him like this, I can’t imagine not seeing him again.
“Thank you for coming. It’s meant the world to me,” I confess.
“Of course, I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I wasn’t sure if you were ready to see me, but I got your letter, and I came as soon as I could.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I should have come and seen you. I was the one who walked away and—”
He interrupts me by taking my hand in his, and my skin tingles at the contact.
“You were right to walk away. I thought I was helping you, but I think I was keeping you from truly healing.”
“No, you saved me in ways I can’t explain, Noah, but I know I was leaning on you in ways that weren’t healthy or fair to you, and then, that night happened and…” I stop, unable to finish my words. I’ve replayed that night over and over again in my mind, wondering how it could have gone differently.
“And for the record, I don’t regret that night. I have done many things in my life that I regret, but I could never regret you, Noah.”
I watch the relief leave his body when his shoulders soften, and his head falls back.
“You’ve no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that.”
“I’m sorry it took so long. I think we were two people who were trying to heal and grieve, and the lines got a little blurry. I never wanted to lose you, but I think I needed to, to find myself again.”
He turns his body to face mine, our eyes lock, and all those feelings that I have tried so hard to bury resurface.
“You don’t need to be sorry. Like I said, you were right to walk away. Truthfully, I was leaning on you just as much. When you left, I was forced to deal with my emotions and make sense of itall. I had to face some ugly truths. It hurt to lose you, and I want you back in my life, Tor. As friends.”
“I’d like that.” I agree, trying to ignore that pang of disappointment at the word friends.
He holds out his hand for me to shake in the same way he did the very first time we met, and the memory has me smiling. I think I knew then this man would be different.
“Friends.”
I toss my head back and laugh. “So formal Mr. Jones.”
He shrugs with a knowing look in his eyes, “Yeah, well, a handshake felt like the safer option.”
His words hang in the air around us, and I choose to ignore the meaning behind them, because I don’t want anything to ruin this moment. So, I slide my hand into his, and we shake slowly.
“Friends.”
He keeps a hold of my hand and pulls me up to stand “Come on, let me walk you home.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Tori
Eighteen months later.
The day we never saw coming has arrived. My big brother is getting married to the love of his life. No one was more shocked than me when he called to tell me that not only did he plan to propose to Ali, but that he planned to marry her that same night. I had strict instructions from Harry to get on a plane to New York, secure the rings from Tiffany's, and then fly out on a private jet with everyone to Vegas.
