“We can find another motel,” I suggest.
“No, it’s fine.” She walks inside, while I bring the bags.
I tried to get two connecting rooms or at least a room with two beds, but all they had was one queen room.
“I’ll sleep on the floor, and you take the bed,” I offer.
“Noah, don’t be silly. We can share the bed.”
I clear my throat, “I, ugh, don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you. I don’t mind the floor. I’ve slept in worse places.’ I laugh uneasily, but when I watch her face fall with disappointment, I wish I could take my words back.
“I’m sorry, of course. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable either,” she says, squeezing her eyes shut, regret etched all over her face.
Fuck.
“No, shit, Tor. I’ll sleep with you, I mean, in the bed, on the bed. Fuck.” I pinch the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath. “Let me start that again.” I take a step towards her, and her eyes trail up my body, and I like the way it feels to have her eyes only on me. There are a lot of things I’d like to admit to wanting to do in this room, on this bed, and none of them are appropriate or right, so I push them all down. I already slipped up today, calling her darlin’.
“I am happy to share a bed with you, if you’re comfortable with it.”
I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, and truthfully, I don’t know how I’ll cope with sharing a bed with her. The night I stayed with her in the hospital and the night by Scotty’s grave don’t feel like they count, but this, this is different.
“I don’t mind at all,” she confirms, and I let out a sigh of relief.
“Good, okay, I’ll go get us some drinks from the vending machine. Are you hungry? They have a food truck across the parking lot?”
She shakes her head. “No, I’m okay. I’ll take a shower and head to bed.”
“Okay,” I say, pressing my lips together, and turning on my heel, needing to escape the room and catch my breath. This weekend might be harder than I thought.
No, I tell myself. I can do this. I can repress any feelings I have. Easy.
The universe really wanted to test my restraint when I stepped back into the motel room to find Tori bent over, applying moisturizer to her bare legs, with only a long t-shirt covering her body.
I let out a quiet groan, which clearly wasn’t quiet at all, if the way Tori whipped her head around and looked like a deer caught in the headlights is anything to go by.
“I’m sorry, there isn’t much room in the bathroom.”
"No, no, you’re all good. I’m sorry I walked in.”
Yeah, good one, Noah.
“I can put some pants on. I assumed we’d have separate rooms, so I only brought a t-shirt to sleep in.”
“Fine with me,” I choke out, knowing how hard it will be to have her lying beside me looking like that, and I’m unable to be with her the way I want to be. “I’m going to take a shower,” I say as I place the water bottles I just bought on the nightstand.
I take a freezing shower to calm my raging hard on as memories of Tori in that t-shirt fill my head.
I have fought the urge to stare at her toned legs in those tiny shorts all day. She looks good, so fucking good. It’s obvious she’s been taking better care of herself over the past few months. She has a glow about her again, the same glow she had the first time I saw her working behind the bar on the base, and I fell headfirst, only to land with a painful thud when I realized she was Scotty’s girl.
Suddenly, that little voice creeps in, reminding me of all the reasons why I can’t act on my feelings.
She can’t ever be yours.
She’s your dead best friend’s girlfriend.
She’s your best friend’s sister.
She’s your friend.
