Her lip quivers as she looks up at the ceiling.
“I just don’t feel like I have anything to live for anymore. We had so many plans, there were so many things he wanted to do that he never got to do, things we were going to do together, and now, it’s all gone.”
Panic floods my veins at hearing her words.
“Tori, you have so much to live for, please don’t say that.” I plead. I hate that she thinks this. “You can still do all those things,” I reassure her.
She shakes her head and uses the sleeve of Scotty’s sweatshirt to wipe her wet cheeks, and a spark of something that feels alot like jealousy at seeing her wear and comfort herself in his sweatshirt instead of mine steals my focus, and I immediately push the thought away. I had no right to feel that way.
“No, I can’t.”
“Promise me that if you ever feel that way again, you call someone, you call me, and I’ll come running.”
She nods her head quickly.
“Words, Tor. I need to hear you say.”
“I promise,” she says, tone serious.
I reach into my back pocket and pull out the jewelry box I have brought over every time I’ve seen her. Every time I lose my nerve, but today, it feels like she needs it.
Her brows furrow as her focus ping pongs between my eyes and the box I’m holding out.
“What’s this?” she asks.
“Open it.”
She takes it, our fingers brushing, leaving me wanting more. I’ve hungered for Tori’s touch since the day I met her, but the minute I found out she was Scotty’s girl, that idea was quickly squashed. I don’t think there’ll ever be a time or a moment where I could ever make her mine, not in this lifetime anyway, and that’s just the way it has to be. Being her friend is all I can ever be.
She opens the box, and she stills. “Noah, it’s…”
“For you. To remind you to keep going even when it all feels uncertain. You might be on a path you never wanted to be on, but you will find your way again.”
I turn the silver compass pendant and point to the words engraved on the back. “Memento vivere.”
She looks at me with curious eyes.
‘It’s Latin. It means, remember to live.”
She slides her hand in mine, and the warmth of her skin makes my own heat.
“Thank you. No one’s ever gotten me anything as thoughtful as this.”
I brush the pad of my thumb over the back of her hand, feeling the weight of her emotions. I promised to look out for her, and if this small token helps as a daily reminder, then I know Scotty would be happy.
She takes it out of the box and hands it to me.
“Would you mind?” she asks softly.
She turns away, gathering her damp hair in one hand, exposing her delicate neck. I place the chain around and fasten it, before I rest my hand on her exposed skin without thinking. She gasps under my touch, and I know I should move my hand, but I can’t because being this close to her feels like the most natural thing in the world.
She turns her head slowly, my hand falling away.
“Thank you.” She says as she faces me and I watch as her chest rises and falls at the same pace mine. Is she as affected by this closeness as me?
There’s something in the air that I can’t decipher, and I need to change it, so I clear my throat and say, “Tell me what you were going to do, what he wanted to do.”
She sniffs. “So much. Cliff diving, running a marathon, horseback riding through the mountains, naked.”
